Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Fiction reference points

This post can be considered to be the extended footnotes for my fiction.

The Russian President's last day in office is a sardonic, sometimes bawdy take on Vladimir Putin's adventures in Ukraine.  Byez Rubashka translates to "without shirt," paying homage to Putin's practice of posing for photos without wearing a shirt.  The president's floozie is modeled after Putin's rhythmic gymnastics girlfriend, Alina Kabayeva, with Gimnastka translating to "gymnast."  Putin really does have a $1+ billion palace on the Black Sea.  Boobs-R-Us refers to Femen, the feminist organization famous for displaying breasts as a political protest, with "boobs" having two meanings.  The juxtaposition of Rubashka and Boobs-R-Us removing their shirts is intentional.  Femen is originally from Ukraine, but is now based in Paris.  Ubistvo Lyubovnik translates to "murder lover."  Ciao Kakao is Russian, rhyming slang comparable to a 1950's song, "See you later, alligator," and cannot be taken literally.  Kakao is the Russian word for "cocoa," referring to the chocolate factory Ukraine President Petro Poroshenko owns.  Labia Likov's last name is pronounced "lick-off."  Onher Chappedbutt was the best I could do with the name of Anna Chapman, the Russian spy and outstanding sex partner who was deported in 2010.  Sneg translates to "snow" (then add "den").  All other names can be researched via an English dictionary.

Currently there are more than 800,000 Russians from Ukraine who have moved to cities in Russia because their house or neighborhood was bombed.  It is unknown if they will return, especially given the animosity which has developed between Ukrainians and Russian separatists.  And the separatists who have stayed are ridiculing, beating, kidnapping, and imprisoning people with different points of view, as was true in the Soviet Union they idolize.  Whether volunteer mercenaries or Russian regulars, troops with modern weaponry arrive via Russia on a regular basis.  Some separatists fear that that the Ukrainian army will impress them into service, just as Bolsheviks did during the Russian Revolution, but as usual, the separatists have it backwards.  Russian soldiers are being sent to Ukraine to fight, and if they are captured, Russia disavows all knowledge of their orders and declares them to be traitors, similar to what happened after the end of WWII when recently released Russian POWs were sent to the gulag after arrival back home for allegedly consorting with the enemy.

The murder of 333 children, parents, and teachers at Beslan was Russia's 9/11, just like the downing of MH17 was the Netherlands' 9/11, with separatists not concerned that their side was responsible for the murder of 298 children, women, and men.  And just like George W. Bush who attempted to derail the 9/11 Commission because he knew it would accentuate his incompetence, Putin never supported an honest investigation of Beslan.  The mistakes made in Beslan ten years ago are many: ignoring warnings, allowing the savages to bribe their way through checkpoints, possibly allowing the pre-positioning of weapons in the school building, never securing the scene to prevent amateurs from triggering a bloodbath (there are photos on the Internet), and the lack of a coherent plan.  To this day it is unclear exactly what happened.  Another national screw-up was the Moscow Nord-Ost siege where many hostages died because Moscow planners failed to account for the highly toxic gas used to incapacitate the savages, with many hostages drowning in their vomit because no one was told to simply turn them onto their stomachs to allow them to vomit the poison out.  For further insights into the people of the Caucasus, search for "kavkaz" (or "Кавказ") on YouTube to find lots of videos of dancing at weddings, but also some videos (here's one) of wolves, pretty local women, and minarets interspersed with drawings of assault rifles and other military weapons.  Not surprisingly, the Islamic State has now declared the Islamic countries of the Caucasus, Chechnya, Ingushetia, and Dagestan, to be the location of their next Islamic war.

The West must draw a line and not one of Barack Obama's amateur-hour red-lines.  If Putin wants a proxy war, then we must give him one.  Supply Ukraine with missile-firing drones, M270 MLRS, M142 HIMARS, and other relevant weapon systems, and train Ukrainians how to use them effectively.  We can bleed Russia dry by trading drone missiles for battle tanks and armored vehicles, not to mention eliminating the many Grad, Buk, and other rocket/missile systems.  And we'd better have a plan ready in case Putin's green men appear in Estonia and Latvia.

Finland is persuaded to join NATO is my daydream of what a competent politician could do vis-à-vis Vladimir Putin's hints at annexing the portions of Eastern European countries with large Russian populations.  This story is a fictionalized version of The guerrilla solution to Vladimir Putin's threats to invade Finland if it joins NATO and Barack Obama's potential JFK moment, although Obama actually appears to be a deer frozen in the international headlights.  The story starts with a mention of the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact of 1939 which divided Eastern Europe between two ruthless dictators, Hitler and Stalin, and installed Trojan Horses in Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania in the form of large numbers of ethnic Russians.  Russian soldiers keep getting lost in Ukraine, so it's likely Putin has ideas about Finland too.  Herbert Hoover was given the credit he deserves for his many humanitarian missions around the world, starting during WWI and continuing past WWII.

Press conference regarding the Malvinas reconquest by Argentina is a possible outcome of an obvious gap in the UK's defense strategy.  For a number of years, Britain will not have any carriers capable of carrying fixed-wing aircraft and will only have one helicopter carrier starting at the end of 2014.  The window of opportunity will only last until the first of the new carriers is ready in 2017-18.  Argentina would never get another chance like this.  The time frame of the press conference is February 2015.  I got the idea for this story from the online comments of Brits who believe their country is the British Empire of old, even though Britain today is the land where Muslim men groom, rape, and share Sikh and other non-Muslim girls as young as 11 and police treat the victims as "stupid, naughty" girls.  The UK is the origin for a large number of ISIS killers.  And Birmingham is ground-zero for the Islamist Trojan Horse plot to surreptitiously convert public schools into madrasas.

The demise and resurrection of North Korea is my hopeful vision of an implosion of North Korea.  Originally it was the main narrative of a larger story called The war of immiscible ideas which was presented in multiple chapters (TWOII was deleted).  Looking back with 20/20 hindsight, it is obvious that TWOII was a terrible name, though not nearly as bad as Saucy Mugwump.  I updated the narrative to reflect current events, added a character or two, and improved the writing.  It all started with a BBC News story on South Korean women becoming military officers after the sinking of the Cheonan and other provocations by North Korea.  The concept of historical fiction came from B.R. Myers' book, The Cleanest Race, which noted that North Korea publishes sycophantic historical fiction regarding the life of Kim Il-sung, though I took it in a decidedly different direction.  I continued my research in Could an implosion of North Korea result in WWIII? which speculated on the events which would follow a collapse of the DPRK.

Originally, Bling Ka-ching was meant to be a rip-off of Jang Song-thaek, Kim Jong-un's uncle, but I made him a minor character, the mayor of Pyongyang, after he was executed.  Jang's real-life wife was Kim Kyong-hui who became Kim Alco-hol in the story.  She is reputed to be an alcoholic and in poor health.  Yoo Tok-ki (whose name was created using the Korean word for rabbit) was the woman seen in a surreptitiously filmed North Korean video, with her frail body just about to give out.  The scenes involving orphans originated from stories in Radio Free Asia, the Telegraph, and PBS Frontline.  I obtained a point of view of China from a dissident, Bao Tong, via his Under House Arrest column.  Christian Talvela is, of course, my Jack Ryan, albeit with absolutely no explanation of his background.  This story just might be the longest blog post on the Internet.

The take-down of the labor camps was intentionally sparse because, for me, the immediate aftermath is the most interesting portion.  Also, I do not believe I could do justice to the dynamics of a raid along the lines of the one at Son Tay.  That said, it is fairly well accepted that prisoners in the labor camps would be executed during an implosion.  A UN report stated that guards "received orders to kill all prisoners in case of an armed conflict or revolution so as to destroy the primary evidence of the camps' existence."  The report "also explained that specific plans exist on how to implement the order and that drills were held on how to kill large numbers of prisoners in a short period of time."  Kim Il-sung was the creator of that strategy, as well as for Songbun, the DPRK's caste system, and the scheme where one's relatives suffer the same punishment as the accused.

From a project management point of view, the removal of Kim is critically essential.  He would need to be killed or at the very least, arrested and jailed, but Kim Jong-un has personal bodyguards in the Guard Command.  Soldiers from the 43rd Infantry Brigade recently fired on a vehicle carrying soldiers from the Guard Command, killing one of them.  As RFA noted, Kim "came unglued" and replaced the entire leadership of the Brigade.  It is likely that the Guards are pampered and therefore loyal to Kim, in contrast to the Brigade which is a special forces unit.  To eliminate Kim, one would need to penetrate the Guards.  Given the problems with the Brigade -- "Gunfights within the army show how lack of discipline has become a serious problem," said a source -- perhaps there is great resentment within the regular army for the special treatment of the Guard.  Or perhaps this was merely an incident of soldiers choosing to shoot rather than risk subsequent dereliction of duty charges if the vehicle had contained a lesser class of North Korean, similar to what happened in 2008 to when a South Korean female tourist walked over a forbidden line at the Mount Kumgang tourist resort.

China would not readily relinquish control of North Korea.  As I first mentioned in North Korea is China's useful idiot, China uses North Korea as a buffer zone against the West.  North Korea's rare earths deposits are essential to keeping China's industry humming.  China has done whatever it took to maintain the status quo in the DPRK, including deporting North Korean refugees back to almost certain death, as my posts In memory of nine North Korean orphans and China is murdering North Korean refugees noted.  And both China and Russia covet North Korea's ice-free port of Rajin.  A likely scenario, in a Chinese remake of Sherman's March to the Sea, is that Chinese armored forces blaze a trail east, with the people trapped north of Chinese forces possibly doomed to die of starvation while the armies danced.  U.S. and ROK forces intervening to prevent mass starvation could easily trigger a five-way war, including Russia trying to safeguard its railway to Rajin, given that China would not negotiate any line of demarcation and would demand that interlopers leave immediately.

The Japanese Prime Minister's last day in office is a possible outcome of the current Japanese government's dalliances with organized crime (the yakuza) in the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant clean-up, Japan's head-in-the-sand attitude with respect to its actions in WWII, and Japan's conflict with China over the Senkaku / Diaoyu Islands.  Japanese Prime Minister, Abe Shinzo, has proven to be agenda-driven.  His constant visits to the Yasukuni Shrine where Class A war criminals are enshrined play well to his base, but they are alienating his neighbors, especially South Korea with respect to the "comfort women."  He is starting to work with India's navy and is giving Vietnam six used ships, but one would think he would realize that Japan would need friends in the neighborhood if a war with China were to occur.

The National Archives' Nazi War Crimes and Japanese Imperial Government Records Interagency Working Group understands better than anyone that the atrocities of the Nazis and 1934-45 Japan are comparable.  The West knows of "The Angel of Death," Josef Mengele, but is not generally aware that worse crimes occurred in Imperial Japan under Ishii Shiro.  Japanese apologists refer to Ishii's Unit 731 by its original, innocuous name, the Epidemic Prevention and Water Purification Department of the Kwantung Army.  General Douglas MacArthur allowed many of the monsters from Unit 731 to go free to allow their "research" to be used in the U.S. and Britain's Cold War fight against communism -- their vivisections on conscious patients without anesthesia were truly world-class atrocities -- though MacArthur's decisions were approved at the very top levels of government.  Prime Minister Abe Shinzo and his fellow fascists often visit the Yasukuni Shrine where many of the monsters, including 14 Class A war criminals, are enshrined, yet Emperor Akihito has never visited it.

The National Archives offers two starting points for those who wish to research Japan's wartime atrocities, Researching Japanese War Crimes: Introductory Essays and Select Documents on Japanese War Crimes and Japanese Bological Warfare 1934-2006.  The authors noted that much of the material has never been used in published books, even thought the list of horrors is long and appalling.  One wonders if that is because the subject matter does not lend itself to being read by an audience which idolizes celebrity airheads or whether there are politically-correct considerations at play here.  Japanese apologists who often claim that the dropping of two atomic bombs was unnecessary because Japan was ready and willing to surrender should read the timeline of the first half of 1945: "The sharp increase in Japanese attacks using free balloons was seen initially as a potential [biological warfare] weapon threatening crops, if not people."  The reason why Unit 731 is not well-known today can be expressed in a sentence from the timeline of the second half of 1946: "Secretary of War and Joint Research & Development Board recommended that all information about the biological warfare program be held at the TOP SECRET level."  Apologists should also note that 70% of relevant documents were destroyed by Japanese authorities, unlike in Germany where most were retrieved.

The U.S. versus the accelerated dragon requires some knowledge of chess history on the part of the reader to be fully appreciated.  All character names were taken from famous chess players and the "accelerated dragon" from the title is a playing strategy.  The insects mentioned in the story actually exist and appear to be cousins of bed bugs.  Demand CS will kill them, but applying it properly and safely is crucial.

Bao Tong's commentaries, 'Mao And Deng Were The Same, And We Should Ditch Them' and Deng Xiaoping 'Opened The Floodgates' For Corruption, explained how China migrated from crazed communists to corrupt capitalists.  Another RFA editorial, The Only Thing Left For China Now is Revolution, by Wei Jingsheng, someone who served 18 years in Chinese prisons for "counterrevolutionary" activities, noted that China is essentially controlled by "26 hereditary family groups," in other words, China is no different than other oligarchies.  Last but not least is 'Everyone is Responsible For This Evil' which pointed out the evils of Mao's Red Guards who were instrumental in the millions murdered in the Cultural Revolution.  The photo on this last commentary is worth a thousand words, as it depicts a Chinese bride and groom dressed as Red Guards, suggesting that Red Guards are to China what Elvis is to the U.S.

The British Prime Minister's last day in office is fairly long and meanders through many current events and potential outcomes thereof.  It was triggered by comments from some of the survivors of the Utøya Island massacre in 2011 that they were planning to increase immigration for and give special rights to Muslims, heedless of what is happening in Britain with respect to local jihadists, in protest against the mass murder of the right-wing, neo-Nazi fruitcake, Anders Behring Breivik (Beavis, from Beavis and Butthead, in the story).  The names of the prime minister and other politicians were satirically designed, with the names of the two journalists borrowed from British and American literature.  Sweden, where headscarf fiction becomes reality was a follow-up post.  I would not write it again in its present form as it deals with too many issues.  Many people misunderstood my main point that throwing the baby out with the bathwater is not a recommended practice.

Religious sex dolls is a one-off, disparaging religions and pretentious celebrities via bawdy humor.  It's more of an extended dirty joke.  Only people who pay attention to the American national soap opera will fully appreciate the humor.

Monday, September 1, 2014

FICTION: The Russian President's last day in office

"It's okay, Byezoolichka, it happens to all guys," purred Gimnastka Slutskaya.

"It's all because of Ukraine," offered Byez Rubashka.

"I realize that being president of Russia is a big job, but you need to forget about it when you're away from it all," continued Slutskaya.  "Tonight I will set up my vault apparatus in the bedroom.  That always puts you in a good mood."

"Not tonight Gimi," replied Rubashka.  "I have to visit Crimea."

"Are those woman who protest by removing their shirts going to be there?  You know, Boobs-R-Us?" asked Slutskaya.

"I wish they were.  They always brightened my day.  No, they disbanded after what happened to them in Iraq.  They thought they would show ISIS the usual routine -- take their shirts off and display their breasts with political slogans written on them -- but as soon as they did that, they were gang-raped by hundreds of Islamists.  As far as I know, every one of them was raped to death," explained Rubashka.

"Including the ringleader, the stripper who cut down wooden crosses with a chainsaw?" inquired Slutskaya.

"Yes, she was one of them," answered Rubashka.

"This weekend, let's visit your your $1.5 billion Black Sea palace.  That place is really cool.  It reminds me of the palaces of the former tzars," cooed Slutskaya.

"That's the point, my limber one," concluded Rubashka.

* * * * *

"I'll be there in five minutes.  I just want to watch the headlines," said Ukrainian President Ciao Kakao as he walked around his desk and pressed the power button on the television in his office.


"This is INI Headlines with Veracious Tidings," announced the crisp, professional voice.

VERACIOUS TIDINGS: Good evening.  We start with Ukraine.  Let's go live to Hardy Chronicle in Mariupol.

HARDY CHRONICLE: Hi, Vera.  I've learned that the Donetsk area is now completely occupied by Ukrainian forces.  You may remember that the fight for the airport was a tough one a few weeks ago.  Horlivka and Shakhtarsk have also been taken.  Ukrainian forces are relentlessly pushing east to the border region.  Separatists now only control the bulge defined by Luhansk on the north and the 90-degree turn at the border to the south.

The separatists took Novoazovsk not too long ago, but that will probably be a tough nut to crack because Rostov-on-Don, a major Russian city, lies directly to the east, not far at all.  It appears to be a last stand, a separatist Alamo, if you will.

VERACIOUS TIDINGS: Hardy, Russia has been directly supplying separatists with weapons by driving them across the border.  Has the Ukrainian military been able to reduce that flow?

HARDY CHRONICLE: Yes, Vera.  Slowly the Ukrainian army was winning the fight, but as you said, the separatists were being resupplied.  Many of the organizations which deal in satellite imagery -- the U.S. with its spy satellites, Spot, GeoEye, DigitalGlobe, etc. -- have been secretly supplying Kiev with almost continuous imagery for some time now.  The U.S. government gave U.S. corporations permission to give Ukraine their highest resolution so convoys could be located.  Kiev has been able to target most Russian convoys entering Ukraine, destroying them with artillery and rockets.  Novoazovsk, on the other hand, is being supplied by both land and sea.

And I sometimes see weapons which appear to be out of place for the Ukrainian military.  I'm beginning to wonder if NATO or other countries are supplying arms on the sly.  I've seen a few drones with attached missiles with Israeli markings.

Oh, and on a slightly different subject, Russian President Byez Rubashka is traveling to Crimea today to give a speech.  It's expected that some Crimeans will give him a rough reception, given that tourism, formally a major contributor to the economy, has fallen from the sky.

VERACIOUS TIDINGS: Thanks, Hardy.  Now let's go to Doughty Communique in Kiev.

DOUGHTY COMMUNIQUE: Hi, Vera.  Ukrainian President Ciao Kakao is flying to Ankara for a meeting with NATO.  This is important for two reasons.  First, he is confident enough in his military's situation to leave the country.  And second, he will be discussing NATO membership which would put an end to Russian adventures in Ukraine.

VERACIOUS TIDINGS: You also have news regarding refugees, right?

DOUGHTY COMMUNIQUE: As you know, more than a million people, many of them children, left Ukraine and traveled to cities in Russia: Tomsk, Ulyanovsk, Yakutsk, Magadan, and others.  Their houses and/or cities were destroyed.  President Kakao announced today that these people will not be allowed back into Ukraine.  He said it is obvious where the loyalties of these people lie.  He expects their husbands and male family members to join them soon, after the two separatist redoubts are finally taken.  He believe that these people would constitute a fifth column in Ukraine.  When asked if his actions were the same as the movement of ethnic minorities that occurred after WWII, he replied: "Perhaps, but given that this war started with Russians in Ukraine attempting to slice a section off for themselves, I believe my decision is justified.  We expect many more Russians to voluntarily move to Russia now that their Soviet dream has been crushed."

Back to you, Vera.


Stay with INI for all the latest news.

* * * * *

"President Rubashka, while we are flying to Crimea, would you like to watch some television?" asked one of his personal servants.

"Turn on Russian Reality.  My favorite newsreader is about to start," replied Rubashka.

"As you wish, my lord," the servant said, as he pressed the power button for the television situated about 1/2 meter from Rubashka.


LABIA LIKOV: This is Russian Reality TV, with all the news you need to know.  Labia Likov here.

The situation is firming up nicely in Eastern Ukraine.  The fascists who executed a coup d'etat are slowly losing their will to fight and the people are reclaiming their birthright.  Even the people of Western Ukraine are beginning to realize that the current government is dangerous to their health.

It's clear to everyone that statehood for Eastern Ukraine is the only solution.  Fascism will never be accepted by the patriots in the east of the country.  Theirs is the natural reaction of people who are defending their rights.  We hope that common sense prevails before any more people are killed.

I also want to make it clear that there is no truth to the rumor that Russia had a prisoner swap with Ukraine.  There are no Russian soldiers in Ukraine and never have been.  Russia merely had pity on the families of Ukrainian soldiers captured in the fascists' war of aggression and decided to do the right thing, as we always do.

Our glorious leader, President Byez Rubashka, is flying to Crimea today to accept the thanks of the people for rescuing them from the grip of the falangists.  He will stay overnight and return to Moscow tomorrow.

Onher Chappedbutt, deported from America in a group of ten alleged spies, has opened another branch of her brothel with a spy theme, The Russia House, this time in Crimea.  To remind you of what she has to offer, we have a graphic showing the services offered with their associated codewords.

Chappedbutt's harlots have created a few terms of their own for use in their work.  We have a graphic showing these terms.

We wish her great success in her newest location.

In other news, we have more details on the scandal involving Italian President Smegma Phallusconi.  You'll remember that he was caught in flagrante delicto with a 16-year-old prostitute.  We just learned that one of the people who burst in on Phallusconi was carrying a state-of-the-art digital camera.  This person snapped a few high resolution photos of Phallusconi's private parts and posted them on his website.  He announced that there is a section of Phallusconi's penis which contains an amazingly lifelike depiction of the Virgin Mary, but only when he has an erection, as the folds otherwise obscure the revelation.  Tens of thousands of Italians have surrounded his house, beseeching him to give them the full Virgin Mary.  We'll let you know what happens.

Finally, in San Diego, California, a Muslim woman dressed in a blue burka was standing next to the main tank when one of the killer whales rose up and knocked her into the tank.  The whales then tossed her into the air and batted her about until trainers could distract them.  Police speculated that because the whales could not see that it was a human in the burka, they thought it was a large, blue, beach toy.  The investigation continues.

We'll be right back.

* * * * *

"Mr. President, the President of the European Council is on the phone," interrupted his assistant.

"Alain, how are you?  I'm flying to Ankara to meet with the NATO ministers.  I suspect they are not predisposed to Ukraine's entry because of the potential cost and risk.  However, Ukraine's entry into the EU is paramount.  We really need that to start the transition away from Russia's influence.  I need to talk to you about ships bringing natural gas to ports in Mariupol and other cities.  Sure, nuclear power might be a solution for the long-term, but I'm worried about the short-term, like this coming winter," began Kakao.

"Yes, I heard that Rubashka called for statehood for Eastern Ukraine.  That's a clear admission that his tactics have failed.  He is grasping at straws now," added Kakao.

"You know, sometimes I think of the children, parents, and teachers who were slaughtered in Beslan ten years ago.  The whole thing went tragically wrong because Rubashka and his cronies were grossly incompetent and corrupt.  The Ingush and Chechen savages bribed their way through police checkpoints.  Russian authorities never secured the area around School Number 1 to prevent the many amateurs from interfering.  We'll never know who fired first, but if commandos had been the only troops present, they could have killed the savages much faster, reducing the death toll of innocents," opined Kakao.

"Of course that occurred to me.  Russia refused to allow Chechnya and the other Caucasian countries to become independent, yet it demands that Ukraine allow Russians in Eastern Ukraine to be set free.  It's always about Russians, with Georgia and South Ossetia being a perfect example," interjected Kakao.

"We are already opening new McDonald's restaurants in the cleared parts of the so-called Novorossiya.  The cuisine is not my favorite, but Ukraine will allow consumers to choose which restaurants exist," finished Kakao.

* * * * *

"Ubistvo, remember what happened the last time you launched an SA-11 Buk missile?  Women and children rained down from the sky.  You killed people from all over the world, ones who had nothing to do with our fight for independence," cautioned Nescient Ovis.

"We've been through this before.  All of those people were already dead," claimed Ubistvo Lyubovnik.  "It was a Western and fascist plot to implicate the motherland."

"Ubistvo, you are the commander of separatist forces in Novoazovsk, but sometimes you remind me of the movie-hero Alexander Nevsky just after a double-dose of meth," answered Ovis.

"That fascist Kakao is flying today from Kiev to Ankara, which takes him over Southern Ukraine, right over our beloved Buk," asserted Lyubovnik.

"Do you really think he would fly over our territory?" queried Ovis.

"He thinks he has already won.  I will show him and his American puppet-masters how to play the game," declared Lyubovnik.  "Okay, button 'A' to arm, button 'R' to release safeties, and button 'L' to launch.  Buk means tree, but in this case, it is the tree of death.  Buk, Buk, Buk, you're the source of all our luck!"

"We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when," sang Lyubovnik as he pressed buttons.

The missile ignited and accelerated skyward.

* * * * *

"Absolutely, Onher.  I have visited all of your other bordellos.  I would not miss the opening of another one, if you catch my drift," assured Rubashka.  "Legs, Onher; it was a joke.  Did you build a presidential suite in Crimea?  You know how I hate to mingle with ordinary people."

"I hope you did not invite Teddy Sneg.  He is insufferable, always taking himself so seriously.  I have the impression he believes the world is going to crown him king of the truth-tellers or some other nonsense.  When is he going to realize that we are simply using him?" continued Rubashka.  "Hold on for a second, okay?"

"What's that down below us?  Is that a contrail?  What ..."

Friday, August 29, 2014

FICTION: Finland is persuaded to join NATO



I don't need to tell you that your large, next-door neighbor has been making lots of noise lately.

As you know, the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact of 1939 divided Eastern Europe between the Nazis and Soviets.  Estonia, Latvia, most of Lithuania, most of Poland, Bessarabia, and Finland were promised to the Soviets.

The Soviet Union invaded Finland in November 1939 in the Winter War after first demanding that Finland cede some islands in the Gulf of Finland and part of your beloved Karelia.  You showed the world that a small determined country could hold a bully at bay for a time, but then the spring thaw allowed the Soviets to employ its advantage in armor.  Many Soviet soldiers froze to death because their leadership was incompetent.  You were forced to accept Stalin's terms in March 1940, which included a loss of 11% of your territory.

Of course, that was a mixed blessing, because while Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania retained their territory, they must now deal with large populations of Russians who may soon act as fifth columns.  Poland's borders were dramatically shifted to the West.

The U.S. and many European governments stood by and did nothing, mainly because we had more than our fair share of Bolshevik sympathizers.  Former U.S. President Herbert Hoover organized aid for Finland, continuing the humanitarian work he accomplished in Belgium during WWI, Poland and the Soviet Union post-WWI, and 38 nations in the world famine of 1946-1947.

The Soviet Union shot-down one of your civilian airplanes, the Kaleva, in June 1940, two days before the Soviets annexed the Baltic Countries.  Neither the Soviet Union nor Russia ever admitted its guilt or apologized for that crime, but Russia still claims that Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania volunteered to be annexed.

Russians have proven themselves to be adept at shooting down airplanes filled with civilians and denying it afterward.

But annexed is such a polite word.  The actual horrors associated with it -- summary executions, confiscation of property, residents being sent to labor camps, freedoms curtailed, rapes -- are glossed over when using that word.

And when the Nazis mostly surrounded Leningrad, squeezing the city into starvation, Finland did not participate in the siege and allowed Soviet food convoys to reach the city via Lake Ladoga.

The enemy is at the gate.  Again.

Russian military aircraft are violating your airspace on a regular basis now.  Russia claims it's an accident.  Let that be a lesson to you: never text and fly.

In a different part of Europe, we heard from captured Russian paratroopers who said they traveled into Ukraine by accident.  Sure, they went to the store for vodka and cigarettes, but ended up in Ukraine.  I hate it when that happens.

Some Russian separatists claim that active-duty Russian soldiers are taking their vacations in Eastern Ukraine, suggesting that armed combat is merely another extreme sport.  A few of those soldiers complained that they were being used as cannon fodder, similar to how their Soviet predecessors were used in Finland.

I realize that Finns cherish their independence, but then again, you joined the European Union and adopted the euro.  There's one more organization you must join.

The colonel standing behind me is holding the signed paperwork for Finland to join.  I say "signed" because all current members have already agreed to allow Finland to join.  The only thing left to do is for the Finnish Parliament to pass the legislation.

As you know, citizen referendums are not binding upon the Parliament.  They are considered to be purely advisory.

That is why your vote tomorrow must be overwhelming.  You must convince them that Finns do not want to repeat history and want to remain in a free Europe.  The Parliament has agreed to hold a vote on the day after yours.

U.S. President John F. Kennedy traveled to West Berlin in June 1963.  The Cold War was in full bloom, with the Berlin Wall having been initially erected on August 1961.  JFK wanted to reassure Berliners that the U.S. was not going to abandon them.

He famously spoke the words, "Ich bin ein Berliner," which actually mean, "I am a jelly doughnut," but that's okay because we knew what he meant.  He was expressing solidarity with people who were at risk of being over-run by the Soviets.

Besides, a jelly doughnut sounds pretty good right now.

So, in conclusion, and channeling my inner JFK, I say to you as a free man: Olen suomalainen!

Thursday, August 21, 2014

FICTION: Press conference regarding the Malvinas reconquest by Argentina


MINISTER OF DEFENSE JUAN URIBURU: Sorry to keep you all waiting.  I'll take some questions now.

REPORTER #1: Was the timing of the action accidental or planned?

MINISTER OF DEFENSE JUAN URIBURU: Very much the latter.  The UK is in the midst of reorganizing its military.  Its second to last helicopter carrier, Illustrious, was retired to a memorial just last December, leaving only the Ocean as an active helicopter carrier.  It retired all of its fixed-wing carriers some time ago, with their replacements not scheduled to start sea trials until next year.  And, of course, this is our summer and their winter, making for nasty weather in the UK and North Atlantic and good weather for us.

REPORTER #2: What was the very first action by the Argentinian government?

MINISTER OF DEFENSE JUAN URIBURU: There were many, especially with respect to the planning.  But the first announced action was the establishment of a Maritime Exclusion Zone extending to 200 nautical miles around the Malvinas.  I thought this was especially ironic given that the UK announced the same thing in late April 1982, just before it sunk the General Belgrano outside that zone.

REPORTER #3: When I flew to the Malvinas immediately after Britain retreated, I looked out the window and could have sworn the various fishing vessels were arranged in a spread-out grid pattern.  Were they?

MINISTER OF DEFENSE JUAN URIBURU: That is an astute observation.  Yes, we bought a good number of obsolete fishing boats and outfitted them with listening devices and sonar ranging equipment.  This was our on-the-cheap method of creating both an early warning system and a means of determining the position of submarines.  We did not have the time to tie all of the sensors together via a networked computer system, but since we only needed to detect one or two submarines at a time, we could just do it the old-fashioned way, with charts and human intuition based on technical data.

REPORTER #4: Weren't you afraid you would sink your own submarines?

MINISTER OF DEFENSE JUAN URIBURU: I think you have the sequence of events confused.  We kept our submarines in port at first.  We wanted to ensure that any initial sightings were of British submarines.

REPORTER #5: Which submarine was sunk first?

MINISTER OF DEFENSE JUAN URIBURU: Ambush, their newest Astute class boat and an ironic name to say the least, was in the general vicinity, having just visited Australia.  It arrived in our Maritime Exclusion Zone shortly after our announcement.  As we expected, it did not announce its presence at all, but our trawler network picked it up.

REPORTER #6: Can you confirm the report that the torpedoes you used were purchased from North Korea?

MINISTER OF DEFENSE JUAN URIBURU: No, because that is simply not true.  We purchased a number of them from China.  We inspected them thoroughly.  I am not an expert on torpedoes, but my officers believe they are carbon copies of the U.S. MK 48 Mod 7.  It is such a good copy, such a quiet weapon, that we believe the design was stolen via cyber-attack.

REPORTER #7: Did the helicopter carrier Ocean arrive after the sinking of the Ambush?

MINISTER OF DEFENSE JUAN URIBURU: No, that was days later.  And I would not call getting within 200 nautical miles and then turning around and heading for home "arriving."

REPORTER #8: The Falklands are clearly British territory.  How can the Argentinian government justify their takeover?

MINISTER OF DEFENSE JUAN URIBURU: Your accent is British, so your attitude is expected.  Here's a short history of the Malvinas.  They were first settled by France in 1764.  A short time after that, Britain founded its own settlement.  Then France transferred its settlement to Spain.  Then around the time of the American Revolution, Britain left the islands completely.  In 1833, Britain returned and staked a sole claim on the islands.

This reminds me of China's claim that it owns the entire South China Sea because some bureaucrat long ago drew a map including it in the Chinese Empire.  Argentina never accepted Britain's claim, leading us to recent events.

REPORTER #9: How was the Ambush actually sunk?

MINISTER OF DEFENSE JUAN URIBURU: We did not want to risk any surface ships, especially after what happened last time.    After we took possession of the Malvinas, we established an air base at Stanley.  We added external tanks to some helicopters so they could fly long distances over the sea.  When our trawler network told us a submarine was in the Maritime Exclusion Zone, we launched a helicopter carrying a torpedo.  When the helicopter was over our best estimate of its position, the torpedo was released.  The Ambush was the first to be sunk, with the men of the General Belgrano sending their regards!

There is some irony here.  The General Belgrano is the only ship ever to have been sunk by a nuclear-powered submarine and Argentina is the only country to have sunk a nuclear-powered submarine, except for the Russians and Americans who sank a few of their own by accident.

REPORTER #10: Were you surprised that Britain continued to send submarines?

MINISTER OF DEFENSE JUAN URIBURU: Yes and no.  They had launched their fleet -- if you call a single helicopter carrier, some destroyers, and some frigates a fleet -- but that would not arrive for some days.  Their submarines were better positioned to arrive sooner.  And submarines are not like surface ships which almost always have a chance to send a distress signal.  The General Belgrano was not able to do so!

Obviously the Ambush stopped communicating with the British navy after it imploded and they must have assumed the worst.  Then the Torbay arrived and we sank it too.  After that, I was confident no more submarines would be found.  But then the Astute arrived and we sank it too.  Their two newest submarines were lost as well as one from the Trafalgar class.  The next submarine from the Astute class will not be ready for duty until sometime next year.  And Britain wisely decided not to send any of their four ballistic missile submarines because the nuclear warheads might have contaminated a portion of the sea.

REPORTER #11: Did Britain's lack of locally-based fixed-wing aircraft give Argentina an advantage?

MINISTER OF DEFENSE JUAN URIBURU: In the previous conflict, Britain used carrier-based Harriers to devastating advantage against us, shooting down 20 of our aircraft with the loss of only one of theirs.  But now they were forced to decide if they wanted to counter our local fighters with ones launched from Europe and refueled by its recently acquired Airbus A330 MRTT tanker aircraft.  All they have now are Tornadoes, which are technically up to the challenge, but fuel is a major problem especially given that not one South American country gave them permission to overfly or land on their territory.  I'm sure they thought about basing them on their Ascension Island, but that is still a long flight from the Malvinas.  I personally notified the British ambassador that if Tornadoes joined the fight, their tankers would be fair game.  Britain is waiting for F-35s from the U.S., but given the major problems the U.S. has had with them, I'm not really sure they would have made any difference.

REPORTER #12: What happened to the British residents of the Malvinas?

MINISTER OF DEFENSE JUAN URIBURU: We cannot afford to revisit this when the UK possesses two fixed-wing carriers in a remake of the Sudetenland.  In our invasion, some full-time residents used rifles and other weapons in an attempt to stop us, with some of them being shot, but all 3000 or so residents were rounded up and evacuated to Buenos Aires, where they were put on British Airways planes.  We allowed them to bring personal possessions with them.  They are already screaming that Argentina owes them compensation, but that's Britain's problem now.

Speaking of Britain's problem, a large number of Islamists around the world, especially in the Syria-Iraq arena, are British.  Prime Minister Poltroon Cummerbund needs to deal with his own internal problems, not to mention the epidemic of Muslim men grooming non-Muslim girls as young as 11 for sex, before worrying about far-off claims.

Sorry, but I must leave it there.  I need to get back to work.  We'll have more for you in the next few days and weeks.

Monday, August 4, 2014

North Korean sanctions, naive assumptions, Chinese intransigence, and unintended consequences

For years people have been saying that the DPRK is on the verge of collapse.  They continue to say that because of what happened to the Soviet Union.  It collapsed, so they believe it is only a matter of time before the same thing happens to North Korea.  In truth, the Soviet Union collapsed only because Mikhail Gorbachev was unwilling to employ machine guns against his people, in contrast to his predecessors.  CNN noted back in 1996 that "it's been ordinary citizens who bear the brunt of the food shortages.  North Korea's army and party elite remain largely unaffected."

Soon after the Nazi invasion on June 22, 1941, Stalin retreated to his dacha after a mental breakdown.  He said in despair, "Lenin founded our state and we've fucked it up."  Nikita Khrushchev described him as a "bag of bones in a grey tunic."  Vyacheslav Molotov (Minister of Foreign Affairs), Lavrenty Beria (NKVD chief), Kliment Voroshilov (People's Commissar for Defense), and Anastas Mikoyan (Minister of Foreign Trade) visited him at his dacha, with Stalin expecting them to arrest him.  But they didn't because they were afraid of him.  Molotov later said in his quasi-memoirs, Molotov Remembers: Inside Kremlin Politics, that Stalin was "like a lamb" compared to Lenin.

Leonid Brezhnev was in power during the Prague Spring.  His answer to Alexander Dubcek's abolition of censorship was the combating of "anti-socialist forces."  The policy became known as the Brezhnev Doctrine.  He announced in November 1968:
We cannot ignore the assertions, held in some places, that the actions of the five socialist countries run counter to the Marxist-­Leninist principle of sovereignty and the rights of nations to self-determination.  The groundlessness of such reasoning consists primarily in that it is based on an abstract, non-class approach to the question of sovereignty and the rights of nations to self-determination.  The peoples of the socialist countries and communist parties certainly do have and should have freedom for determining the ways of advance of their respective countries.  However, none of their decisions should damage either socialism in their country or the fundamental interests of other socialist countries, and the whole working class movement, which is working for socialism.  This means that each communist party is responsible not only to its own people, but also to all the socialist countries, to the entire communist movement.

In other words, once countries accept Soviet communism, they will not be allowed to leave the Soviet Union or the Warsaw Pact.

During the Hungarian Uprising in 1956, Yuri Andropov watched Hungarian secret policemen being hung from lamp posts and vowed to never allow it to happen again.  He became the head of the KGB just in time to crush the Prague Spring.  It was during his reign as general secretary that Korean Air flight 007 was shot down and Ronald Reagan coined the phrase "evil empire."  Andropov died in 1984 at age 69, but if his health had been better, he would have remained in power, eager to crush the revolutions which started during Gorbachev's time in office.

In July 1989 in Strasbourg, Gorbachev proclaimed: "The social and political order in some particular countries did change in the past, and it can change in the future as well.  But this is exclusively a matter for the peoples themselves and of their choice.  Any interference in internal affairs, any attempts to limit the sovereignty of states -- whether of friends and allies or anybody else -- are inadmissible."

Shortly before this speech, in May, Hungary started dismantling its border fence separating it from Austria.  Hungary's government waited for a response from Gorbachev, and when there was no negative reaction, they dismantled it completely.  In August, the residents of Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania crossed their countries in a human chain called the Baltic Way.  The residents of Plauen started the mass protests in Germany in October.  The DDR planned to employ machine guns against protesters in Leipzig in October, but when that did not happen, the Monday Demonstrations became too large to control.  The Berlin Wall fell shortly thereafter.

Reagan did not win the Cold War.  Gorbachev allowed it to end peacefully.

* * * * *

One could compare North Korea's finances with one of the grand old bath houses of Europe.  You can soak in the outside pool and be blissfully unaware of what is going on in the indoor pool.  You might even delude yourself and assume that the same activities are happening inside and that the water temperature is the same, when in truth things may be quite different.

The authors of Don't Engage Kim Jong Un -- Bankrupt Him, Joshua Stanton and Lee Sung-Yoon, made the same assumption.  They assumed that all we have to do is tighten the screws on North Korea via the banking system and the DPRK will disappear with a happy ending.  They were only looking at the outside pool of the bath house.

Stanton and Lee began with comments regarding Google CEO Eric Schmidt and former Governor Bill Richardson's excellent adventure in North Korea.  Senator John McCain and the authors believed that the pair were being "useful idiots" to the benefit of the DPRK.  On the contrary, as I wrote before, Schmidt knew exactly what he was doing.  If he was able to convince Kim Jong-un to allow the Google Car to videotape the entire country, the millions of people vicariously visiting North Korea via Google Maps would translate to billions of dollars worth of Google Ads.  Schmidt was gambling that Kim Jong-un and his toadies were not sophisticated enough to understand Google's business model.  Richardson, on the other hand, is a photo-op groupie worthy of Senator McCain's ire.

Stanton and Lee gave a detailed, valid analysis of what has been done in the past and what could be done again.  But their entire justification can be summed up in one sentence that Kim Jong-il allegedly said to Chinese President Hu Jintao in 2006: he was worried that prolonged U.S. financial sanctions on the Stalinist country could lead to the regime’s collapse.

We have been burned by single source stories from North Korea before.  After Kim Jong-un had his uncle, Jang Song-thaek, executed, we started to hear rumors of how he had been fed to a hungry pack of dogs and ripped apart.  It was only later that we heard the truth, that dogs played no part in his death and the story originated in satire from a Chinese microblogging website.

Surprisingly, Stanton and Lee made no mention of tourism to North Korea, even though it is currently holding three Americans in prison, including Kenneth Bae.  Barack Obama could easily impose penalties for U.S. citizens who visit North Korea, similar to how we restrict travel to Cuba.  Dennis Rodman, a professional basketball player in contrast to Obama's amateur status, is allowed to jet back-and-forth between the U.S. and North Korea, making a mockery of the 120,000-200,000 people being held in labor camps.  Pressure can be applied to the many firms which offer tours to and run summer camps in North Korea.

Stanton is a partisan, conservative expatriate, opining on his blog that "Korea's political left … isn't liberal in its values or compassionate toward Korea's most vulnerable -- that is, North Koreans."  However, both the current president, Park Geun-hye (2013-present), and the previous one, Lee Myung-bak (2008-2013), are members of the conservative Grand National Party.  Rainer Eppelmann, the last defense minister of the DDR, said in 2012 after consultations in Seoul: "I've realized that the South Koreans are trying to figure out a way for the North Koreans to remain in the North after unification.  The South Koreans were talking about border controls.  I'll be damned!  They seriously intend to close the border after the wall has fallen!"  This does not prove that Korea's liberals are compassionate, but it does prove that its conservatives do not have a monopoly on the subject.

China has pretended to take the six-party talks seriously, but its actions speak louder than its words.  It needs North Korea as a source of rare earth minerals for its industry.  Chinese investors have massively invested in North Korea, especially in the Rason Special Economic Zone which includes Rajin, the last ice-free port until Murmansk, where, as one guide put it, "You can get everything here except nuclear weapons."

As I wrote before (In memory of nine North Korean orphans and China is murdering North Korean refugees), China refuses to send North Korean refugees to South Korea even though Seoul offers to pay for their transportation.  China considers the lives of the refugees to be mere collateral damage in its policy of steadfast support for the DPRK.  Obama said: "One thing I will say about China, though, is you also have to be pretty firm with them, because they will push as hard as they can until they meet resistance.  They're not sentimental, and they are not interested in abstractions.  And so simple appeals to international norms are insufficient."

It seems fairly likely that China would offer alternatives to Western banks if severe sanctions were again implemented.  Sanctions would only be effective if China was our full partner in establishing bans on all luxury goods to put the squeeze on Kim Jong-un and his note-taking toadies, given that much of these goods arrive via the long border.  To force China to do this, we could use our enormous trade leverage with China.  For example, the president could call Xi Jinping and state that our ports will not accept any more Chinese goods until it fully and verifiably participates in the luxury goods ban.  China's economy would collapse in a matter of months without the U.S. buying its goods, so Xi would pay attention.  China has a veto vote only as long as we allow it, including vis-à-vis its nine-dash line covering the entire South China Sea.

The Yalu River, Paektu Mountain, and the shallow, refugee-favored Tumen River constitute the border between the Korean Peninsula and its two northern neighbors, China and Russia (to paraphrase Robert Frost, good rivers make good neighbors).  North Korea can also evade sanctions via its 12-mile-long border with Russia, especially since Russia is circling its wagons in response to sanctions against it for its role in the downing of MH17.

Should we return to the appeasement-based politics of the Sunshine Policy, where South Korea gave vast amounts in aid in the hope that the DPRK would use the aid wisely?  No, of course not, because we know that it achieved nothing.  But what if Stanton and Lee are correct in their premise that severe sanctions would result in the implosion of the DPRK?  It's likely Kim would continue to play the same game he learned at his father's knee, that of playing the West for a fool and continuing to do so until it was too late to save the country.

As Bruce W. Bennett wrote in Preparing for the Possibility of a North Korean Collapse and N. Korea Could Fall Faster Than We Think, and I wrote in Could an implosion of North Korea result in WWIII?, an uncontrolled implosion of North Korea would be a catastrophe of the same magnitude as the Korean War.  We know from the UN that labor camp guards have standing orders to execute all prisoners, all 120,000-200,000 of them.  China and Russia would want to safeguard their port facilities in Rajin and railways leading there.  Refugees would attempt to stream across the Chinese, Russian, and South Korean borders to an unknown reception.  A struggle for power between the various military factions would arise, with the care and feeding of civilians being rather low on their list of priorities.  It is entirely possible that some military units would go down with their ship, metaphorically speaking, and launch missiles at South Korea, Japan, or other targets, or send artillery shells laden with chemical weapons across the DMZ.  Civil wars are always ugly and often morph into something completely unexpected, with MH17 being a perfect example.

There are only two ways to prevent the aforementioned carnage.  The best option would be an implosion initiated and controlled by North Korean officers in a coup as I alluded to in The demise and resurrection of North Korea.  The second-best option is one with China as a full partner, with all contingencies planned for, especially concerning raids on the labor camps to rescue the prisoners.  However, the rumors on Chinese contingency plans are that China does not currently intend to rescue either the prisoners or its WMDs -- and does not want to talk about it because it might upset the leadership of the DPRK and Chinese businessmen.

Of course, China's plan-B may be to install Kim Jong-un's older brother, Kim Jong-nam, who appears to be predisposed to Chinese-style reforms.

The status quo, as terrible as it is, might be preferable to an uncontrolled implosion.  We need to put as much pressure on China as we do on the DPRK.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Hold the feet of Vladimir Putin to the MH17 fire

It is clear to all but Russian nationalists that MH17 was shot down via a Russian-made Buk surface-to-air missile launched by Russian separatists in Eastern Ukraine.  And it is equally clear that any Western proof will never satisfy Russian President Vladimir Putin.  The man who actually pushed the button will never come forward due to a crisis of conscience, especially considering the bizarre comments from Igor Strelkov, one of the separatist leaders, who claimed that the passengers on board MH17 had already been dead when it was shot down.  If the U.S. published high-resolution imagery of the missile launch, Russian media might substitute a photo of Jimmy Hoffa for the rocket engine flare and display it on Russian television.

Sanctions are never going to be effective given that Europe is largely dependent upon Russian oil and gas, with some countries, e.g. Lithuania, being 100% dependent.  Germany is foolishly dismantling its nuclear power plants, putting in on a course to join Lithuania as a captive to Russia.  Russia is pleased over German's decision and announced that "Gazprom is ready to help."

Russian assistance has been clear from the beginning of the conflict: armored personnel carriers, T-64 tanks, shoulder-held Man Portable Air-Defense Systems, Grad rocket launchers, Tornado rocket launchers, and now Buk surface-to-air missiles.

Now Russia is planning "to deliver heavier and more powerful multiple rocket launchers" to the separatists.  Russia has already fired artillery across its border targeting Ukrainian military positions in a clear escalation.

A different approach is needed:
  • Cage the peacock: Putin has a world-class ego and requires constant stroking in the form of strutting on the world stage.  Putin must be banned from attending ceremonies of any kind outside Russia, whether sporting, cultural, or political.  Preventing his basking in the glow of a global audience may be the most effective sanctions of all.
  • Isolate Russia from world events: The 2018 World Cup must be reassigned to a country other than Russia.  To make it easy, choose a country in Europe with existing facilities.  Politicians in the Netherlands, Germany, and the U.S. are already discussing this, given that Putin's goal is to showcase Russia at the event.  FIFA has rejected these calls, proving that none of their relatives were on MH17.  No other sporting or cultural events should be scheduled in Russia until Putin dies in office in the manner of Soviet general secretaries and Russian tzars.
  • Isolate Russia economically: Economic sanctions are good, but given how intertwined the world's economy is with Russia, especially that of Europe, this can only be taken so far.  London's financial district will fight sanctions because it diminishes bankers' walletsAs I wrote before, the U.S. must stop buying Russian rocket engines.  Evict Russia from the WTO.
  • Bring Finland into NATO: As I wrote before, Putin is attempting to reconstitute the Soviet Union.  The next victim may be Finland.  It must be brought into NATO before Putin starts another game.
  • Fight missiles with missiles: Russian separatists have proven themselves to be brutal killers not unlike the ruthless Bolsheviks who founded the Soviet Union.  Their lethal toys must be neutralized.  The U.S. should analyze its satellite imagery and note when rocket or missile launchers are brought to an area for use, with drone missiles in the area being used to destroy them.  Putin would have a difficult time complaining about the destruction of rockets and missiles he says do not exist.  However, due to orbital mechanics, satellites cannot be parked over Ukraine to constantly monitor the movements of Russian rockets and missiles, so drone imagery would be needed before and during missions.  The decision to retire and not replace the SR-71 has proven to be a foolish one because it would have allowed for on-demand imagery at altitudes even Buk missiles could not reach.  If some Russian separatists not directly involved in the action are killed, it might be poetic justice given how they are desecrating and robbing MH17's dead.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

FICTION: The demise and resurrection of North Korea

The telephone rang.  Christian Talvela answered, "Hello, this is Christian."

"Hello.  My name is Euh Kun-Hee.  I am a senior aide to Korean Ambassador Lee Kyung-ni.  Can you come to the South Korean embassy in Washington DC as soon as possible?  Since this is not a secure telephone, I am hesitant to discuss the matter right now."

"I could leave early in the morning and be at Washington National around noon," replied Talvela.

"Excellent. Would a 1:00 PM meeting be acceptable?" asked the aide.

"Yes, that's okay, as long as the plane isn't late.  Should I ask for you?" asked Talvela in return.

"Yes, please do.  And thanks for traveling on such short notice." concluded the aide.

* * * * *

Talvela told the guard at the gate of the Korean Embassy in Washington DC that Euh was expecting him.  The guard called to the main building and confirmed that Talvela was legit.  The guard motioned for him to continue toward the main entrance where he was met by Euh.

"Mr. Talvela, thank you for coming on such short notice.  Please walk with me to Ambassador Lee's office.  We have much to talk about," said Euh.  They walked to Ambassador Lee's office.

"Mr. Talvela, I'll bet you are wondering why we asked you here.  Please have a seat," offered Ambassador Lee Kyung-ni.

Ambassador Lee began: "We never quite know what to believe with respect to North Korea.  As you know, Kim Gour-met was the leader until December 2011.  Recently we received an overture from his son and current leader, Kim Young-un.  He asked to see you in person.  He would tell not us why.  Given your interest in the Korean Peninsula, I believe you might find it educational to travel to Pyongyang to meet Kim Young-un."

"Absolutely!" declared Talvela.

"We will classify you as a temporary employee and pay you at the level of Special Representative for North Korea Policy.  When can you leave?" asked Ambassador Lee.

"I suspected something like this might happen, so I brought clothes suitable for the Korean Peninsula.  I can leave on the next flight," declared Talvela.

"Excellent," concluded Ambassador Lee.

* * * * *

Talvela could not believe his luck.  The woman meeting him at the airport was just his type: athletic, intelligent, and quietly competent.

"Mr. Talvela, my name is Lieutenant Song Han-na.  I have been assigned to assist you with your meeting in Pyongyang.  My regular position in the army is in logistics, but since I have a degree in English, my superiors believed that I would be a suitable assistant for you."

"Since we will be working with each other in tense circumstances, I would like to eliminate the formality between us.  Please call me Christian."

"In that case, please call me Han-na."

* * * * *

"President Park, I would like to introduce Christian Talvela," said Lieutenant Song.

"Mr. Talvela, it is good of you to travel to our peninsula.  Kim Young-un's message has us dying of curiosity.  Besides Lieutenant Song, do you require any assistance?" asked President Park Joon-ho.

"Given the humanitarian nightmare that is North Korea, I would appreciate it if you can supply us with a medical doctor who is familiar with the conditions there.  I have a feeling that those skills might prove useful.  Of course, the doctor needs to speak English," offered Talvela.

"I know just the person.  I expect you will leave tomorrow for Pyongyang, so I will ask the good doctor to be ready in the morning.  Anything else?" asked President Park.

"Yes, do you know anything about the North Korean woman who was seen in a video searching for grass to sell to wealthier people to feed rabbits?  She said in the video that she was an orphan," added Talvela.

"I think you will find that Lieutenant Song is an expert on that subject," noted President Park.

Talvela looked at Lieutenant Song with curiosity.

"I will conclude by telling you that you will probably also deal with Kim Alco-hol, Kim Gour-met's younger sister.  We believe she is acting as a regent for Kim Young-un.  She is reputed to be a mean drunk and even caused her daughter to commit suicide," added President Park.

"Sounds like it will not be boring," said Talvela.

"I cannot wait to hear what you have learned upon your return," concluded President Park.

Talvela and Lieutenant Song walked out of the president's office.

"Han-na, what did President Park mean by your being an expert on orphans?" asked Talvela.

"I am an orphan myself and grew up in an orphanage.  I joined the army because I have no family.  I was one of the very first graduates of our officer training program for women.  I keep current with orphan matters on the Korean Peninsula.  I am fairly certain I could find Yoo Tok-ki, the rabbit girl.  For me, she represents all of the starving orphans in North Korea," she said.

"Would you care to join me for dinner?" asked Talvela.

* * * * *

"My name is Colonel Kim Yu-shin.  I will be your escort," said Colonel Kim.

"Colonel, my name is Lieutenant Song Han-na.  This is Special Representative Christian Talvela. And this is Doctor Lee Mi-hyun," said Lieutenant Song.

"Please come with me," said Colonel Kim.

They walked further into the palace.

"Radiant Marshal, General Kim, please allow me to introduce Special Representative Christian Talvela, Lieutenant Song Han-na, and Doctor Lee Mi-hyun," said Colonel Kim.  Turning to the visitors, he said, "This is Kim Young-un and Kim Alco-hol, the leaders of North Korea."

Talvela and Lieutenant Song looked at each other at the mention of these two being introduced as the leaders of North Korea.

"You want a drink?  It's the best Canadian Whiskey.  Let me get you one," slobbered Aunt Kim.

"Not now, revered aunt.  Please have a seat. Mr. Talvela, I have read your blog.  You do not agree with many of the policies of North Korea," stated Kim.

"To be blunt, the policies of your father have resulted in the deaths of millions of North Koreans and more than a few South Koreans, Americans, and others.  Why do you not see that allowing your people to eat proper meals, and stopping the never-ending war with the rest of the world, would enable North Korea to be a much more powerful country?  South Korea is the 8th largest exporting country.  North Korea is 120th, just ahead of Mozambique.  There is no reason North Korea could not emulate South Korea; after all, you are the same people.  By switching your spending from your military, Pyongyang could become another Asian Tiger," declared Talvela as he watched Aunt Kim constantly slurping caramel-colored liquid from a large glass.

"What would you say if I told you that we want to do just that?  What would you say if I told you that our generals are preventing us from doing that?" asked Kim.

"Your grandfather and father made many promises and offers over the years and all of them turned out to be vapor from a starving cloud," commented Talvela.

"You have a vivid imagination.  I would like you to give us your suggestions as to how my aunt and I can wrest power from the generals," said Kim.

"I have an plan, but first I have a request of my own.  You may or may not know that a North Korean woman, Yoo Tok-ki, was featured in a video which has been seen around the world.  This video showed her starving and looking for grass to sell to wealthier North Koreans.  She clearly lived a pathetic life," said Talvela.

Lieutenant Song looked at Talvela with a slight smile on her face.

"Before I give you any advice, I want to find this woman, if she is still alive, given her predicament.  And I want to take her back with me to Seoul," said Talvela.

"Does this woman interest you sexually?" asked an amused Kim.

A thudding noise caused everyone to look over at Aunt Kim who had fallen out of her chair onto the floor.  She looked up with half-opened eyes, laid her head down, closed her eyes, and went to sleep on the floor.

"No, nothing like that.  She represents deprivation on a scale I could never imagine.  I cannot save the world, but I will save this woman," said Talvela.

"I accept.  Colonel Kim will assist you.  I assume you already know the general whereabouts of this woman?" asked Kim.

"Yes, we do," offered Lieutenant Song.

"Okay, we will meet again after you find her," concluded Kim.

* * * * *

"She should be around here.  This is where the truck driver filmed her.  That's her, I'm sure of it! Stop the truck!" demanded Lieutenant Song.

"Let me address her.  Yoo Tok-ki, please come here!" said Colonel Kim.

A pathetically thin young woman walked slowly to Colonel Kim.  "Am I in great trouble?" she asked in a whisper.

Colonel Kim laughed.  "No, this is the luckiest day of your life!  Please get in the truck.  We will take you where you can eat a complete meal for once," said Colonel Kim.

Yoo had a dazed look on her face, but she got in the truck as ordered.

* * * * *

"I am allowed to eat all this?" asked Yoo.

"Yes.  What do you think about moving to Seoul?" asked Lieutenant Song.

Yoo looked at her with a puzzled expression.  "Seoul?"

Talvela turned to Lieutenant Song and Doctor Lee and said in a low voice, "Tell her to take a long, soapy shower."

"Why are you helping her?" asked Colonel Kim.

"I do not know if you heard this story, but in Japan, there is a classic manga comic magazine from the 1960s called Tiger Mask about a professional wrestler who donates his winnings to the orphanage in which he was raised.  On last Christmas Day, anonymous donors brought gifts of school satchels, fruit, vegetables, bags of rice, and even cash.  One of them left a drawing of a man behind a tiger mask with a note of: 'I am Tiger Mask -- I have come to your city and I want you to distribute the gifts to all the children's homes here.'  Another left a note saying there are Tiger Masks across Japan," explained Talvela.

"There are Tiger Masks all over the world," declared Talvela.

Lieutenant Song smiled at him and squeezed his arm.

* * * * *

As before, Colonel Kim brought the visitors to the presidential palace where Kim was waiting.  Talvela wanted to make sure that Yoo Tok-ki did not disappear, so he brought her with him and ask her to sit in the corner where he could keep an eye on her.  Lieutenant Song and Doctor Lee joined Talvela.

Talvela started, directly addressing Kim. "Have you studied the aftermath of the collapse of totalitarian regimes?"

Kim's eyes opened wider.

Talvela continued: "When the fascist government of Italy fell near the end of WWII, Mussolini and his mistress were strung up like slaughtered pigs.  Romania's Ceausescu and his wife were put up against a wall and shot on Christmas Day, shot like the common criminals they were, just a few weeks after the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989.  You could avoid all that, you know.  By ending the state of war which exists between the two halves of Korea, you could end the starvation of your people and probably end up winning the Nobel Peace Prize."

"Korea is a shrimp between three whales, China, Japan, and the USA.  The first two have tried to eat us for hundreds of years.  How would you ensure that we were not swallowed up by the whales if we declared peace?  How would you rebuild North Korea?" Kim asked.

Talvela hesitated for a few seconds before replying.  "Your immediate concern is food and medical care.  After signing a genuine peace treaty with the South -- nothing can start until that happens -- we would establish camps in all of the major cities.  Each one of these camps would have a large food tent, in which basic, cooked food is given away.  We would not allow raw food to be given to your government because it would be sold in the black market.  A second tent would be set-up for medical care."

"You would quickly have a situation where you would be overwhelmed with people needing food, given your country's starvation crisis.  I believe you would discover that you have far more orphans than you realize.  After these homeless people have been cleared by the medical authorities, they would need a place to live.  The solution lies in the many abandoned factories you have.  The homeless people would remove the junk and fix them up to make them livable."

Kim looked at his watch.  "Oh, no!  Piercings Rudeman is arriving any minute!  I must go now!" he shrieked as he ran out of the room.

"Piercings Rudeman, the American basketball player who declared that foreigners being held prisoner in North Korea deserved it," whispered Lieutenant Song to Talvela.

"It appears we are done here," said Colonel Kim almost too quickly.

All of them stood and started walking out of the building.

Talvela turned to Doctor Lee and whispered: "Walk behind us and converse with Tok-ki. It does not matter what you say.  Just keep talking and get her to talk."

Doctor Lee just nodded his head and smiled.

Talvela, Lieutenant Song, and Colonel Kim were walking three abreast.

"Tok-ki looks cute with her new buzz-cut," joked Talvela.

"She did not relish the thought of having her hair chopped off like that, but she had lice and other nasty things on her. I made her scrub her entire body in the shower," added Lieutenant Song.

"It is very kind of you to take her back to Seoul with you.  What will happen to her?" asked Colonel Kim.

"We will get her an apartment, update her knowledge of Korean, maybe even teach her English, and get her a job somewhere.  She'll probably work in a restaurant until she learns a few things, but at least she will eat three meals a day," said Talvela.

"I wish we could give all orphans adequate food and shelter," volunteered Colonel Kim.

Talvela and Lieutenant Song realized this was a strange thing for a North Korean officer to volunteer and looked at each other briefly.

Colonel Kim turned his head to directly face Taleva.  "I tell you as a friend, do not return to North Korea unless I invite you to see the zoo," he whispered.  "Do not return if anyone else calls you."  He turned his head back to face the front.  "I wish you great success in your endeavors.  I hope to see you soon," he said just a little too loudly and turned and walked away.

As they walked away, Talvela asked Lieutenant Song in a low voice, "What did he mean by that?"

* * * * *

Talvela and Lieutenant Song were having dinner in a Seoul restaurant.

"I read that Kim Gour-met's hobby was collecting pedigree dogs, yet he continued to eat dogs, especially dog stew.  So to paraphrase the old expression regarding cake -- he wanted to have his dog and eat it, too!" joked Talvela.

Lieutenant Song simultaneously rolled her eyes and smiled.  "Christian, all kidding aside, don't you think there is a strong possibility that some North Koreans would emulate the fanatics in Jonestown and commit mass suicide if their country imploded because their world has come crashing down?"

"Drink the North Korean version of Kool-Aid?  I hope not, but it's always a possibility.  However, people are still people and nobody likes living as an ignorant, starving slave.  This has been true for centuries, with Spartacus and his band of former slaves being the best example.  I will wager that the only people who would be crushed are the sycophants in the Kim family circle, in other words, the relatives and friends of the Kims and the military and civilian elite.  I realize that North Korea is probably the most extreme case of national indoctrination the world has ever seen, but look at what happened in East Germany.  No one committed suicide and no army units attempted a coup."

"So, Han-na, are you going to show me some of Seoul's nightlife?"

* * * * *

Lieutenant Song's home telephone rang and she answered it.  "Yes, Colonel, I will give him the message.  I will call you right back."

She hung up and called Talvela.  "Christian, it is Colonel Kim.  He wants to know if we can return to Pyongyang tomorrow morning.   He sounds a little stressed," she explained.   "And he specifically stated we are going to the zoo."

"Tell him we will be there at 8:00 in the morning," Talvela said.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Choi Sung-hui had given up all hope long ago.  When she first arrived at the prison camp, she was tortured by a sadistic male guard who used a cattle prod, inserting it everywhere he could.  Later she witnessed the same guard beat a small girl to death for hiding a few grains of wheat in her pocket.  She had been imprisoned because her sister picked up a South Korean leaflet.  North Korean authorities imprisoned her immediate family, as well as the generation above and below.

Now she had been summoned to the commandant's office for reasons unknown.  She was sure she would be shot -- or worse.  She was surprised to see a number of other prisoners, all former army officers, along with two current officers.  They were all being fed the largest meal she had seen in her entire time in the prison.  She did not waste time asking about the situation; she just sat down and started to eat.

* * * * *

Talvela and Lieutenant Song arrived at the presidential palace promptly at 8:00 AM.  Colonel Kim ushered them into a small office, different than the large room in which they had previously met.

"I apologize, I have no time for pleasantries.  You have no idea how lucky you were before.  Kim had told me that I was to arrest and jail you because of the content on your blog.  I can only guess that Rudeman's arrival caused him to forget his plan.  Later, I spoke with him.  He told me that the only reason he did not have me arrest you at first was that he wanted to see this woman you mentioned and rape her.  He ordered me to travel to all of the prison camps and execute all former army officers held there to prevent them from ever taking part in a revolution.  Then he said some bizarre things, most of which I do not remember.  The craziest thing was his order for me to kidnap the entire American All-Star Basketball team during its travels to Europe, and bring all of the team members here to Pyongyang for his personal amusement.  I believe he is as nutty as his father," Colonel Kim breathlessly exclaimed.

"Actually, wouldn't he need two teams to play a game?" deadpanned Talvela as Lieutenant Song glared at him.

Colonel Kim ignored his attempt at levity.  "And then he ordered me to arrest and execute a long list of officers in a purge, with many of the officers being my friends.

"So what did you do with him?" asked Talvela.

"Something I did not tell you before because I was not sure of who I could trust was that I have some friends in the officer ranks who agree with me that the direction of North Korea must be reversed.  We are not many -- only 16 in all -- but we are willing to die to stop the madness here.  I called my friends and we arrested him and placed him under house arrest just before I called you," explained Colonel Kim.

"You have already started the clock.  We have very little time to act," said Talvela.  "Here is what you must do today.  Your friends will be busy.  Two of them will immediately travel to each prison camp.  They will order the prison commander to release to them all army officers.  If we had time, it would be best if we could verify that all of these officers were not guilty of an actual crime, such as murder, but we have no time for that now.  We will have to chance it.  You will need to forge papers for your friends to appear as if they are operating on direct orders of Kim."  "Have your friends inform the camp commanders that the prisoners are being released for a suicide mission against South Korea.  Make sure they understand that this is top secret and that any release of information will result in one more prisoner being added to the camps: them.  They must not communicate with the commanders of the other camps.  Bring all of the officers back here for a meeting.  That should give us enough time," said Talvela.

"Traveling to the camps, loading the officers onto buses, and returning will require most of the day.  What will you do until we are finished?" asked Colonel Kim.

"Lieutenant Song and I need to return to Seoul to coordinate some things with South Korea.  We will call you as needed.  I would like to speak with one of your officer friends now in regards to the announcement you will make tomorrow morning on television," finished Talvela.  "By the way, what did you do with Rudeman?"

* * * * *

All of the released army prisoners had been given a thorough scrubbing.  They were all significantly thinner than they had been before and their new uniforms fit poorly.

Colonel Kim entered the room.  "Please sit down and save your strength.  You will need it later."

"84 of you were released from the prison camps.  There are 16 of us who were lucky not to have been sent there.  That makes an even 100.  All of us will have the most important day of our lives tomorrow.  This is a day about which you will tell your grandchildren -- and maybe they will even pay attention," Kim joked.

A few of the officers smiled, but most of them were still unsure of what they were going to be asked to do.

"You will participate in the greatest adventure of all, releasing North Korea from the shackles of the last 100 years.  All of you have been assigned important missions.  It is possible that the failure of any of you will result in failure of the entire mission.  I realize personal initiative is not something we have been trained in, but you must exercise it today.  If someone interferes with you, you will do whatever it takes to complete your mission.  If you need to tie him up and stuff him into a filing cabinet to keep him quiet, then do so.  If you need to shoot him in both shoulders to prevent him from calling an aide, then do so.  If you need to shoot him in the head to immediately silence him, then do so.  No one will question your motives later.  However, I must tell you that many of the senior leadership knows some very important things, for instance, the location of the billions that has been stolen from us.  We really need to interrogate these senior officials to plan our future and it is difficult to interrogate a dead man," lectured Colonel Kim.

"In ancient times, the 300 Spartans fought to the death while they delayed a massive army.  Their exploits are legendary even today.  There are 100 of us, so perhaps we will be remembered as the 100 Koreans or even just the 100.  But this will only happen if we all do our job.  And it will help no one if we fight to the death.  To paraphrase the American General George Patton, we need to make the other guy fight to the death.  Okay, pay attention, here are your assignments," said Colonel Kim.

* * * * *

Sergeant Paik Tae-jing was going to be the first one out of the door of the helicopter.

Just before it landed, he opened the door and looked out at the sleeping prison camp.  Dawn was still a few hours away.

After the landing, he jumped out, followed by his squad.  They ran as fast as they could to the barracks to which they had been assigned.  All of the soldiers quickly and efficiently set up their equipment.  Hurry up and wait, that's how the military is.

* * * * *

"Was that the noise of a jet engine?" wondered Sergeant Paik.

He had been ordered to paint the side of the main barracks with his laser and that was what he was doing.  To his left and right, his fellow soldiers had set up machine guns to kill the labor camp guards who were not blown to bits.

He was a part of the ROK commando team at Camp 22, the largest of the six major prison camps in North Korea with an estimated 50,000 prisoners, with the entire archipelago population approaching 200,000.  They had flown from South Korea directly to the camps without DPRK radars detecting them.  But did Chinese radars detect them?

The commandos landed during the night because intelligence had told them that was the best time to catch the majority of the guards asleep in the barracks.  They needed to kill as many as possible in the barracks because of the sheer number of them, around 10,000.  The DPRK used so many guards because of its level of brutality, with the prisoners sometimes revolting against the constant torture.

Sergeant Paik's orders were simple: all guards were to be killed as quickly as possible because they would start killing prisoners to eliminate witnesses against them in later war crimes trials.  He was stationed at the main barracks, but other ROK troopers were stationed outside guard shacks and other guard buildings.  As soon as his bomb exploded, the turkey shoot would commence.

Their briefing had explained that camp guards had tortured, raped, murdered, and otherwise abused untold numbers of prisoners, including little children.  If nothing was done to stop it, more people would die in one day than on any firebombing raid on Germany or Japan or either of the atomic bomb blasts.

"Holy cow!" thought Sergeant Paik.  The entire building was leveled in a deafening blast.  He was not expecting such an enormous detonation.  His friends with the machine guns would not have much to do.

* * * * *

Talvela and Lieutenant Song had been up all night arranging for the contents of the vehicles in their caravan.  As soon as they climbed into the front seat of the truck, with a South Korean soldier at the wheel, they fell asleep, with her leaning against him.

The caravan had traveled to a point just beyond the view of the North Korean border guards.  An officer banged on the side of their truck to wake them up.  "It's 8:30 AM.  Wake-up!  It is time to go!" he declared.

Talvela struggled to wake-up.  "Han-na, finally, we're sleeping together," he whispered.

She straightened two fingers, slipped them between two of his ribs, and inserted them forcefully, causing him to sit upright because of the sharp pain.

"Coffee would be much better," he said.

Their truck engine rumbled to life, along with the other engines in their caravan.  They started to move forward.

* * * * *

Sergeant Paik and his fellow soldiers walked through the remnants of the bombed-out barracks, with bodies and body parts lying about as if a giant child had thrown a tantrum while playing with his toy soldiers.

"Look at all these machine guns!  They could not have known we were coming, so the weapons must have been stored here in case of a prisoner revolt.  It's a good thing we did not underestimate them.  They were third-rate soldiers, but with this many machine guns they could have inflicted lots of pain on us," he declared.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Choi saw the approaching caravan, with vehicles ranging as far as the eye could see.  She had been assigned the task of returning to her prison camp, this time as a liberator.  There was a score to settle.  It was going to be a beautiful day.

The young North Korean reporter standing beside her was already videotaping the approaching caravan.  The footage would be aired immediately after the announcement from Colonel Kim.  Yes, the revolution would be televised.

* * * * *

Talvela switched on the small television in the cab.  It was tuned to North Korean television.  He could see the usual belligerent female announcer being escorted from the stage.  Then the camera switched to one covering a much younger woman who started to announce the weather.  She started in the northern part of the Korean Peninsula, giving the weather for the major North Korean cities.  She continued without a hitch down south, giving the weather for Seoul and the major South Korean cities.  At 30 seconds before 9:00 AM, she stopped announcing the weather and declared, "It is going to be a beautiful day throughout the entire Korean Peninsula!"

"Showtime!" Talvela exclaimed.

* * * * *

Colonel Kim called the first of the divisional army commanders, Dong Kee-tae, someone he had known for many years.

Divisions were the key to control of the military for two reasons.  First, as is true in any military, they are the smallest unit capable of independent combat operations.  And second, divisional commanders were the lowest ranking officer to be awarded a Mercedes automobile.  In other words, they had real power and they had something to lose if they didn't join the revolution.

"General Dong, as you saw on television, Kim Young-un and his aunt have been deposed.  It is time to stop the insanity which has gone on for over 60 years.  You and the other divisional commanders are the key to a new Korea.  If you agree to go on television and declare your support for an end to mass starvation and deprivation, the other generals will fall in line behind you.  Will you do it, sir?" asked Colonel Kim.

* * * * *

General Hiram "Ulysses S" Grant, commander of U.S. forces in South Korea at Yongsan Garrison, Seoul, knew he was in his last days before retirement.  He had recently made a comment to Canidae News which U.S. President Supercilious Moffie found unacceptable.  The comment was: "Moderate Muslims?  Listen, there are only three types of Muslims.  The first category consists of the killers, the people who behead and explode suicide bombs.  The second category, the largest one by far, consists of people who agree with the killers but don't have the balls to kill for themselves.  And the third category consists of lapsed Muslims, those who have figured out that what they have been told is a crock.  This third category includes the many women who are killed every year by their families because they wore Western clothing or dated non-Muslim men."

As a result, he was already planning his retirement party.  It seemed like both a million years and only yesterday since West Point.

General Grant's nickname of "Ulysses S" was a bad joke stemming from his abstinence from alcohol, as the original Ulysses S. Grant took to alcohol like a fish to water.  He thought it was amusing to go to the bar during official functions and call out in his booming voice, "Ginger ale, straight up!"  The bartenders often thought he was a little weird.

His telephone rang and he answered it.

"General Grant, my name is Christian Talvela.  I am the Westerner you just saw on North Korean television.  You were watching, right?" he asked.

"Yes, my South Korean aide suggested that I start watching just before the weather-girl came on.  You people were keeping something from me," General Grant chided.

"Sorry about that.  If we told you, then you'd have had to tell Washington, the Swiss cheese of secrets.  I have a few requests," said Talvela.

"Shoot," replied General Grant.

As the truck carrying Talvela and Lieutenant Song crossed the border, she noticed that there was a large, hand-painted sign.  It was obvious that it was painted in a hurry.  The sign read, "We are one people."  Lieutenant Song made a mental note to ask Talvela if he had anything to do with that.  She was sure he had.

The truck stopped for only a minute, but the conversation between Talvela and General Grant did not miss a beat.  Lieutenant Choi got in the truck behind them.  The truck, and the convoy, rumbled on to the north.

Their convoy was only one of six headed for the major labor camps.  The guards had already been eliminated before they could begin executing their prisoners, but the convoys still drove as fast as they could because food was a major issue.  A few trucks diverted to Pyongyang, but the majority continued on to the camps.

* * * * *

General Dong was standing in front of a video camera.

"General, we are live in, three, two, one," prompted the nervous, young reporter.

"My name is General Dong Kee-tae.  I am placing the forces of my division in support of Colonel Kim Yu-shin and the other officers who have overthrown the selfish and cruel Kim family.  Today is a new day for Koreans.  Let it be a peaceful one."

* * * * *

When the ROK troops had first arrived at the artillery sites just north of the DMZ, the atmosphere was as tense as it could be.  North Korean troops watched with grim expressions as ROK soldiers set up a mobile canteen.

The ROK soldiers also set up two large televisions, back-to-back, under a tent with a generator to power them.  The televisions were switched on and started displaying North Korean Central Television.  The program consisted of Colonel Kim Yu-shin's announcement followed by ten minutes of scenes from South Korea, then the announcement again followed by ten minutes of scenes from North Korea, repeated over and over again.  Announcements from divisional commanders were also being played.

Colonel Ko Yoon-dae, the North Korean officer in charge, one of The Hundred, had previously arranged for some of the children of the junior soldiers to be transported here.  They were standing around him with apprehensive looks on their faces.  He bent down to them and said in a soft voice: "Go over to the canteen and have breakfast.  It's okay.  Children will eat before adults today."

The children walked to the canteen just as the ROK troops started putting on their white hats.  Talvela had recommended that they all wear the tallest and silliest-looking white kitchen hats they could find.  As one of the ROK soldiers bent over to speak to the children, his tall hat fell off.  One of the North Korean soldiers snickered at the sight.  Then the ROK soldier placed the hat on the head of one of the children and it promptly fell to his shoulders because it was too big for him.  As the soldier quickly pulled the hat up to avoid suffocating him, the boy started giggling.  Then a number of North Korean soldiers started to laugh at the sight.

The ice was broken.

* * * * *

The arrangement of two televisions was being repeated all over North Korea, including labor camps and military bases.  North Koreans gathered around the televisions in amazement, especially regarding the scenes of ordinary life in the South.

"Do you think it is true?" whispered one woman to her husband.  "The war is finally over?  We no longer have to pretend that the Kim family is anything other than a group of hyenas?"

"Look how big the children are!" whispered another woman to her friend.  "They are not mere skin and bones like our children."

* * * * *

Colonel Kim was waiting for Talvela and Lieutenant Song.

"Your speech was a little wooden," commented Talvela.

"Yes, I am not used to giving such speeches.  I think your videotaped speech was much better than mine," said Colonel Kim.

"Time will tell," predicted Talvela.

"Ever since we arrested Kim, he has been demanding to speak with you," admitted Colonel Kim.  "We brought him to the palace because we thought you might want to ask him some questions."

"Good thinking," replied Talvela.

Colonel Kim, Talvela, and Lieutenant Song walked into the palace.

Kim Young-un stood up as soon as he saw Talvela.  "What is the meaning of having me arrested?" demanded Kim.  "My people love me and will soon loudly demand for me to speak to them and reverse the mutiny of the past hours."

"Only in your dreams," replied Talvela.  "Sit down.  You are no position to demand anything."

"All of the animals in the forest cried when I made my first appearance," pleaded Kim.

"Probably because they knew you would eat many of them soon," retorted Talvela.

"And people weep when I make an appearance," again pleaded Kim.

"Let me tell you of a common occurrence with Stalin.  He would enter a large room and the audience would applaud.  And they would applaud.  They would applaud for many minutes because they were all afraid of being the first person to stop applauding.  They knew that the secret police would soon arrest the first people to stop applauding.  So everyone applauded until Stalin raised his arms and then the applause immediately stopped.  Stalin was such a sadistic freak that he kept the applause going until people's muscles hurt from the strain of constant clapping," explained Talvela.

"Let's get something straight right now.  Most North Koreans only pretend to adore you because of the atmosphere of fear your grandfather and father created.  If anyone protested or even displayed a bad attitude, they were arrested and often sent to a labor camp, along with the generations above and below them.  And at least some of the people who cry are the usual, useless sycophants and toadies who will lose their vaunted place in society if you lose power," clarified Talvela.

"I demand to be treated better!" stated Kim.

Talvela ignored his plea.  "You know, you could have been a world-wide hero.  People who voluntarily relinquish power are admired throughout the world.  You would have won the Nobel Peace Prize.  You could have made speeches where people gave you thunderous applause.  Genuine applause.  I could have obtained VIP seats for you at the next NBA All-Star Game and probably for many years to come," explained Talvela.

Kim's eyes widened at the mention of basketball.

"You best think of your future.  Billions of dollars were stolen from the North Korean people and deposited in European bank accounts.  This money must be returned immediately.  This is your only bargaining chip.  Unless you want to spend the rest of your life scrubbing toilets, you had best tell us what we want to know," demanded Talvela.

* * * * *

The truck carrying Talvela and Lieutenant Song arrived at Camp 22.  Both exited the truck.  The camp had already been secured by South Korean commandos.

Talvela and Lieutenant Song started walking through the camp.  One of the 100 officers who had taken control of North Korea and a former resident of the camp, Major Seo Sun-kyu, met them.

Major Seo got right to the point.  "Colonel Kim called.  He said that Chinese tanks are massing on the Chinese side of the bridges over the Amrok River."

The Amrok River was generally known as the Yalu River in the West, but "Yalu" is a Chinese word.

"Can we call him now?" asked Talvela.

"Immediately," replied Major Seo.

Major Seo dialed the number and handed the telephone to Talvela.

"Colonel Kim, have Chinese forces started crossing the bridges over the Amrok River yet?" asked Talvela.

"No, but it looks like they might do that any minute.  We cannot allow Chinese forces to enter the country.  They might be thinking of reinstalling their quasi-puppet or even his oldest brother," reflected Colonel Kim.

"I agree.  We need to stop them, but at the same time we cannot start a war.  Here's my suggestion.  Roll as many tanks as there are lanes onto the bridge and park them in the middle, one behind the other.  Place them at the middle of the bridge, just barely inside the Korean side.  Then when Chinese tanks roll onto the bridge, it will only take a few seconds to separate the tanks, with one blocking each lane.  I seriously doubt if China will resort to a shooting war.  I think this is a game of chicken where they expect you to back off first," said Talvela.

"Good idea," replied Colonel Kim.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Choi had arrived in Camp 22 with the main convoy, but went off in search of a different quarry.  She walked to the guard supply office.  She was sure she would find the tool she needed.  Yes, there it was -- a cattle prod.  She put in a bag along with a length of rope, a pocket knife, and a small roll of sticky packing tape.

She went in search of the guard who brutally abused her with possibly the same cattle prod.  She had previously mentally nicknamed this guard Sergeant Fatbutt after his corpulent body.  Fatbutt often spent time in a clearing behind the guard supply office, so she checked there first.  She was in luck; he was there.  He had changed his clothing to that of a prisoner to avoid being shot.  He was hiding here now to avoid having one of the prisoners identify him.

She was betting that she could directly approach Fatbutt without him realizing that she was formally an inmate in the camp.  She applied just a touch of makeup to further disguise her appearance.  She put the bag in her left hand and the prod in her right hand, with her right hand behind her back.  She walked straight toward him.  At the last second, she brought her right hand from behind her back to expose the prod.

She pressed the business end of the prod against his temple, which caused him to go silly for a few seconds.  That was all the time she needed.  She dropped the bag and prod.  She quickly threw him to the ground, face-down, and tied his hands behind his back.

She pressed the business end of the prod against his temple once again.  It wasn't really necessary, but she enjoyed seeing him twitch.  She tied his legs at the ankles.  She once again pressed the prod against his temple.  She tied his legs together just above the knee.  She pressed the prod against his genitals and held it there for about 30 seconds.  Even though he was in agony, the three ropes ensured that he could not move much at all.

She tied a ten meter length of rope to his ankles and dragged him to an old, filled-up latrine trench.  She knew it was deep enough because she had helped to dig the trench.  She turned the spigot on a nearby water hose and placed the nozzle at the edge of the trench.  She oriented Fatbutt's body so that his feet were at the edge of the trench, with his body parallel to the long axis of it.

She walked the free end of the ten meter length of rope to the other end of the trench.  She walked back to Fatbutt.

"Do you remember me?  You took great pleasure in abusing me.  Now the shoe's on the other foot," hissed Lieutenant Choi.

All this time the water hose was converting the latrine trench from solid waste to a semi-liquid stew of shit.  Uncontrolled fear showed in his eyes.  She used the tape to fix the prod's on-switch so that it would remain on.  She taped the cattle prod to his body so that the business end was firmly touching his genitals.  She walked back to the other side of the trench and pulled his body into the trench; this way she would not get dirty from splash-back.

The cattle prod shocking his genitals ensured that he was unable to hold his breath.  The equipment on his belt reduced his buoyancy just enough so that he would not remain above the floating turds.

She watched him until he sank beneath the surface.  The story of Lazarus would not be repeated here.

* * * * *

General Grant called his friend Alfred Terry, commander of U.S. forces in Japan.

"Al, I need you to make most of the Asians in your command unhappy.  Please have all commissaries in Japan gather up all brown rice and canned tuna.  Use any discretionary funds to buy more rice.  Send it to me as soon as you can," said General Grant.

"So the announcement is on the level?  North Korea really has replaced the Kim family?" asked General Terry.

"It seems so.  The American who made the video announcement called me.  We discussed his plan and I think he's got a good one.  We will also need any spare tents, cots, and medical supplies, as well as all the medical personnel you can spare.  Think in terms of the humanitarian disaster we had in the Nazi death camps," explained General Grant.

"I'll have something for you by later today.  Keep me informed, okay?" asked General Terry.

"Roger that."

General Grant told an aide to get in touch with Doctors Without Borders.  He dialed the duty officer at the White House.

* * * * *

The two little girls looked like something out of a Charles Dickens novel.  It was not obvious at first because of their dirty faces, tattered clothing, and ratty hair, but they were twins: Tan-na and Kan-na

"I found them hiding in some bushes," said Major Seo.  "I asked them where their parents were and they told me that they were orphans."

Lieutenant Song bent down and asked them: "Where are your parents?"

"They are dead," both replied at once as only twins can do.

"How did they die?" asked Lieutenant Song knowing full well that she did not want to hear the answer.

"They were killed because they stole food to feed us," explained Tan-na.

Major Seo had also brought the camp commander, Moon Dung-me who had been captured alive.  Talvela saw the growing look of sheer hatred on Lieutenant Song's face and he jumped in.  "Why were these girls left to fend for themselves in the camp?" he demanded.

Moon was unapologetic.  "Their parents were enemies of the state!  Their children are therefore also enemies of the state!  They got what they deserved!"

Talvela began speaking in a cold fury: "When professionals hang someone, they place the proper amount of weight on the person's legs so that his neck is broken quickly.  But when amateurs like us hang someone, the results are never pretty.  Sometimes amateurs place too much weight on the legs.  When that happens, the head pops off just like on a Pez dispenser.  When we hang you, I will make sure no weight is placed on your legs.  Your neck will not break.  You will flop around at the end of your rope like a fish on a hook.  Why, I bet it will take a good minute or two for you to choke to death."  Talvela leaned in close to his face, "And I bet that minute seems like an hour."

Moon's eyes were as big as saucers.

Talvela bent down in front of the girls and told them, "We will take care of you until we find you a good home, okay?"

Both girls nodded in unison.

Talvela turned to Major Seo.  "Do you know if the camp has any clean clothes in their size?"

"We have new clothes in the storeroom nearest my office!" Moon blurted out, almost in a panic.

Talvela looked at him and replied, "Perhaps there is hope for you yet.  But the day is not yet finished."

Moon shivered.

Kan-na said something too softly for Talvela to hear.  He bent down and asked her to repeat it.

"We have been really scared sleeping in the bushes all alone.  Wild animals sometimes come up to us and sniff us like they want to eat us," whispered Kan-na.  Tan-na continued the thought.  "Our father always sang us a song when we were frightened.  Will you sing us a song?"

Talvela whispered to Lieutenant Song, "But North Korea has renounced the use of torture."

Lieutenant Song gave him a sad smile, turned toward the twins, and said, "I will sing you a lullaby I learned in the orphanage."

* * * * *

Colonel Kim was explaining to Talvela and Lieutenant Song how things went on the first day.  "When the units from the South met up with the artillery units, it was tense at first.  But we followed your advice and used buses and trucks to transport the wives and children of the most junior soldiers to the gathering.  Given that there was plenty of South Korean food available, when someone saw how the children were eating as much as they wanted for the first time in their lives, the war was over for them right then and there."

"Yes, I was quite worried that the artillery units would not be immediately subdued.  There were something like 2000 artillery units within range of Seoul, right?" asked Talvela.

"Yes, but that was not the worst thing.  There were many chemical munitions as well as high explosive ones," explained Colonel Kim.

"And then there would have been a deadly stampede of people trying to escape the city," added Lieutenant Song.

"It would have been death and destruction on an industrial scale," observed Colonel Kim.  "By the way, did you come up with the 'We are one people' signs idea or did you steal the idea from somewhere else?"

"The latter.  Posters with that sentiment appeared in reunified Germany right after the fall of the Berlin Wall.  Their signs read 'Wir sind ein Volk,' we are one people, or 'Wir sind das Volk,' we are the people, the latter of which was similar to 'We are the 99%' from Occupy America," answered Tologfors.

"Christian, did you notice the other signs?" asked Lieutenant Song.

"No, Han-na, what did they say?" asked Talvela.

"They really got in the spirit of it all.  One sign I saw read 'Food for Korean children.'  Another read 'North + South = Korea' -- must have been an engineer," joked Lieutenant Song.

Talvela smiled and looked at her for more than a few seconds.  She returned the glance and continued smiling.

"Everyone got in the spirit.  At first I was very worried about the paltry number of officers we had, but new officers joined in very quickly.  I really think all we needed was the spark and an unquenchable bonfire resulted," declared Colonel Kim.

* * * * *

"Mr. Ambassador, I will tell you two stories, one of which will occur.  The choice of these two stories depends entirely upon the Japanese government," stated Talvela.

The Japanese ambassador to South Korea, Kichisaburo Nomura, said nothing.

"The first story is this.  At the signing of the peace treaty between the two Koreas, the Japanese Emperor will make a speech.  This speech will start by explaining how Japan invaded the Korean Peninsula near the end of the 1800s.  In 1910, Japan formally annexed Korea.  But then Japan proceeded to wipe Korea and Korean culture off the map.  Japan forbade the speaking and writing of the Korean language.  At this point the emperor will bow and apologize for the  extreme disrespect of the Korean people," continued Talvela.

Ambassador Nomura almost imperceptibly shook his head sideways.

"And the emperor will announce that Japan then did the unthinkable.  It forced around 300,000 women, 80% of them Korean, to be prostitutes for the Japanese army.  Japan then added insult to injury by labeling them as 'comfort women,' as if their being forced into prostitution was no big deal.  The emperor will again bow and announce that he is embarrassed by the actions of his father and the Japanese government.  He will apologize as humbly as he ever has and will ask the Korean people to forgive him if they can," declared Talvela.

Ambassador Nomura sat there stone-faced.

"The second story is this.  A reporter will ask me after the signing of the status of the Japanese people who were kidnapped by North Korea over the past decades.  The reporter will ask when North Korea will work with Japan to determine if any of these people are still alive, and if so, to allow them to return to Japan.  I will reply by stating that Japan must think these people are mere collateral damage and not worth worrying about.  I will explain that Japan refuses to discuss and/or negotiate the matter.  Perhaps there will be a public uproar in Japan over this matter," concluded Talvela.

"I will communicate your position to the appropriate authorities," icily replied Ambassador Nomura.

* * * * *

"General Grant, you are out of uniform," declared Talvela.

"Who said anything about a general?  I'm just Hiram Grant.  I tell everyone to just say 'Hi, Hi' when they see me," joked General Grant.

"Does anyone actually do that?" asked Talvela, smiling at the dumb joke.

"Well, no.  Everyone just looks at me like I've lost my mind," said General Grant.

"Generals are not people to be trifled with, you know," chided Talvela.

"But I won't be an active duty general for much longer now.  I was able to put off my official retirement in exchange for taking leave of my position as commander of U.S. forces in South Korea.  Being able to run the refugee camp here is the best possible way to end my career," explained General Grant.

"Were there any surprises, general?" asked Lieutenant Song.

"Not really.  The camp has three entrances: men, women, and small families.  They are handed a Ziploc bag for their valuables.  They strip and throw their ratty clothes into a trash bin.  For women and girls, nurses give them a buzz-cut to ensure that lice remain behind.  Then everyone takes a long, hot shower.  We give them new clothes and give them a number for medical processing.  We examine everyone for medical and dental problems.  One thing that was not a surprise, but still plays havoc with our schedule is that almost everyone needs dental work.  We do not have enough dentists to work everyone in, so the camp is quickly filling up with tens of thousands of people.  We had to construct a few more tents for the overflow," continued General Grant.

"And to be honest, I get the distinct impression that no one minds being in line for the dentist.  That means they can continue to eat as much as they want.  I am not sure if anyone has left yet.  Food is becoming an issue.  Al Terry, commander of U.S. forces in Japan, sends me all the food he can, but holy cow, these people were starving.  We might have to bring out the fire hoses to convince them to leave!" joked General Grant.

"Christian, Han-na!" cried a squeaky voice behind them.

Yoo Tok-ki almost knocked them down in her attempt to hug them.  "It is so good to see you!" she declared.

"Same here.  Are you working here in the refugee camp?" asked Lieutenant Song.

"Yes.  When I heard that a refugee camp was being built, I traveled to the DMZ, stood in the roadway, and demanded that I be taken along," she said breathlessly.

"She climbed onto the hood of my truck, so we had to take her with us.  She rode in my truck along with my South Korean XO.  Can't ignore enthusiasm like that!" beamed General Grant.

Everyone just smiled.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Song walked back to Talvela's hotel along with him.  They walked past a row of televisions which were replaying his speech for the nth time:


CHRISTIAN TALVELA: In 480 BC, 300 brave Spartans, along with other Greeks, held off an enormous invading army for one week.  This heroic action convinced Greeks to forget their petty differences, banding together to defeat the enemy at the gate.  Here in the north of this peninsula, events are already underway to eliminate a government which would have been familiar to slaves, peons, and serfs throughout history.

A group of brave Korean military officers -- call them "The One Hundred" -- have taken control of the government and military.  All weapons of mass destruction are under the direction of new management.  The situation remains fluid, so we caution the leaders of China, Russia, and the USA to stay out of this; China's practice of using North Korea as a buffer zone between it and the West is now at an end.  Any interference by outside countries may result in WWIII.

We invite South Korean President Park Joon-ho, along with representatives from China, Russia, the USA, and the United Nations, to travel to Panmunjom to sign a permanent peace treaty with the North.  Our only condition involves the DMZ.  We insist that it be converted into a permanent nature preserve with no future development allowed.  A coast-to-coast hiking trail must be built including primitive stone huts for those who wish to stay overnight, absorb the new-found peace and tranquility, and admire the majestic red cranes.  The DMZ always divided Koreans; from now on it will bring them together.

Northerners: if you are given an order to fire on your fellow Koreans, make a wrong turn somewhere, become lost for a few hours, and wait for reunification fever to engulf your peninsula.

Southerners: demand that your government immediately send food and aid to help eliminate the tension which has existed for over 60 years.  Officials who delude themselves with thoughts of closing the border will be trampled, first by Koreans and then by history.

Korean expatriates: emulate Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz; click your heels three times and repeat to yourself, there's no place like home.  There's no place like home.

To rebuild the shattered lives here, we need farmers, teachers, engineers, doctors, dentists, nurses, and public health workers.  We do not need carpetbaggers, grifters, politicians, or religious nuts.  We call on Doctors Without Borders to help us establish an out-processing center for the two hundred thousand or so souls, including entire extended families, involuntarily dwelling in the six major prison camps.

President Park Joon-ho -- launch your caravans of hope and family reconciliation.


They were having such a nice conversation he almost didn't notice that she accompanied him all the way to the door of his room.  Almost.

"Han-na, don't you get enough of me during the day?" playfully asked Talvela as he inserted the key card into the lock and opened the door.

She giggled, pushed him back gently, and shut the door behind her.

* * * * *

Kim Young-un woke up in a cold sweat as he had every night since he had been dethroned.  The nightmare was always the same.

A pale horse walked toward him, carrying his grandfather.  In his hand was a blood-red sword.  The horse's skin was on fire.

Then the rider morphed into his father.  In his hand was a glass full of red wine.  The flames disappeared, only to reveal an animal with sickeningly protruding ribs.  The horse was mere skin and bone.

Finally the rider became him.  In his hand was the severed head, dripping blood, of a former pop-singer girlfriend.  The horse's skin disappeared entirely, with the horse consisting only of a skeleton

Then the skeleton collapsed.  As the bones fell to the ground, they were transformed into wood.  As he fell following the wooden bones, they formed themselves into a structure and he found himself lying on top of it.

A glistening liquid was poured on the wooden bones by apparitions garbed in white robes.  A match was lit and the structure set ablaze.  As the flames licked at his corpulent body, ghosts from the past started to appear.

First came the millions killed in the Korean War.  They swirled around him, accusing him of murdering them in the name of some cult of personality nonsense.  They accused him of being responsible for making the decision to invade the South in a vanity-inspired attempt to reunify the peninsula under his sadistic leadership.  He tried to cry out -- "But it was my grandfather who did that!" -- but he could not speak.  The apparitions marched back and forth across his body, simulating the times that the cities were occupied and then re-occupied by the opposing forces.

Next came the millions of people who died of starvation in the 1990s.  These ghosts were composed largely of children, mere waifs, who wailed that they died because he built a skyscraper that reached to the sky, with the money for this building being diverted from money needed for basic foodstuffs.  He wanted to cry out -- "But that was my grandfather and father's doing!" -- but he was unable to utter a sound.  The apparitions threw balls of fire at him, with the fireballs shrieking the words "Sunshine Policy" as they raced toward him.

Last came the ghosts of people who died in the many labor camps, starved to death because the food intended for them was diverted by the military and elites for black market activities, or were executed simply for trying to escape from their East Asian purgatory.  Their mouths were filled with grass because that was all they could find to eat.  Kim thought to himself that his grandfather created those camps and dreamed up the philosophy of treating people as badly as Japan, the occupier of Korea for decades, did during WWII, with his father continuing those policies.  He wondered why the ghosts did not accuse him of killing them because he shared responsibility for that horror by not reversing the policies he inherited.

Then the fire beneath him became fireworks, with rockets flying into the air and exploding in every conceivable color.  At this point, he was launched into space.  He rocketed into the air, but gravity started slowing him down.  Just as he reached the apex of his trajectory, he exploded into a million pieces.  This is when he always woke up.

He went into the kitchen of the apartment to get a glass of water.  This was not the accommodation to which he had become accustomed, the park filled with large mansions, water slides, and every imaginable luxury, in the forest north of Pyongyang.  This was a plain apartment with no luxuries whatsoever.  And all they gave him to eat was rice, nothing like the lobster, crab, and French wine which was always served in his father's, and then his, house.

He went back to sleep.

* * * * *

The handmade sign on the bars read, "Do not feed the animal!"

"Didn't this used to be the monkey enclosure?" asked one child of her friend.

"Yes, but the monkeys disappeared a long time ago.  I think the Kim family ate all of the animals in the zoo," answered her friend.

"It's funny how he is too tall for the cage.  He cannot even stand up completely," continued the first.

"Hooh, hooh, hooh, hooh!" they both shouted as they slumped over and brought their arms up and down, simulating how a monkey walks.

Two painfully thin adults stood behind the children.  One of them asked, "Did you bring it?"

"Yes, of course," said the other as she produced a small snake from her bag.  "Here's your lunch, Rudeman," she said in broken English as she threw the snake between the bars.

Rudeman grabbed the snake, bit its head off, and wolfed the body down.  He had not eaten in days and did not know when he would see another meal.

"How long do you think it will be before he gets the runs from the parasites in wild snakes?" asked the first adult.

"Everyone I know developed diarrhea almost immediately.  Now this animal will know how we were forced to live in the camps," replied the second adult.

"I'm an American citizen!" he cried.  "I deserve better!  Where's my friend, the Marshal?  He'll get me out of here, I'm sure," pleaded Rudeman.

The children and adults laughed.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Kok Mu-hwan was going to sit outside all day today.

He had been captured in the Korean War.  At first, he was held in a POW camp with all of the other UN troops, but then for reasons he did not know, he was transferred to a different camp along with other South Koreans and some Americans.  He spent a few years in this camp before being transferred again.  No one told him, but it was obvious that the new camp was in the Soviet Union.  He was interrogated daily, but mainly he was being worked to death.  Rations were minimal and disgusting, often containing live insects.  His fellow prisoners died in large numbers.  That's the problem when a war ends in a cease fire, he thought, with the evil side not being occupied.

He tried to keep track of time, but his captors were adept at transferring him from time to time to a different cell, and they almost always found his notes.  He estimated that he stayed in the Soviet camps for five years.  Then he was transferred again, back to North Korea.  None of the Americans were transferred with him, though he honestly wasn't sure if that was because the Soviets had killed all of them through torture and neglect, something they appeared to specialize in.

Not long after his transfer back to North Korea, he was assigned a temporary wife.  One day his captors marched him into a squalid room and pushed a North Korean woman into the room.  The guards sneered at him, said, "Make us another slave," and closed the door behind them.

He was much luckier than his fellow captives, as his companion, Ong Su-bin, was fairly good looking.  She was a member of the songbun-hostile class -- North Koreans were divided by the founder of the country into three classes, core, wavering, and hostile -- which meant that she essentially had no rights whatsoever.  Songbun-core people, 25% of the population, were the Kim family sycophants who occupied Pyongyang.  Songbun-wavering people, 55% of the population, could go either way, but sometimes ended up in prison camps.  Songbun-hostile people, 20% of the population, were the lowest of the low, with entire extended families often being sent to prison camps because of an alleged crime that one family member committed.  She was in the prison camps because her cousin defected to South Korea.

He was lucky in another respect; she did not become pregnant right away, so they could continue having sex.  When she finally became pregnant, they were permanently separated.  Lieutenant Kok sometimes saw her in the mess hall, but he never had time to speak with her.  She had a boy named Min-kyu.

She only lived for six months after the birth of Min-kyu.  Lieutenant Kok was never told the official cause of death, but he was sure she had been raped by one or more of the guards and then killed to prevent her from telling anyone of the assault.  Pretty young women like her often died for no apparent reason in the camps.

Sometimes Lieutenant Kok could steal a few minutes to be with his son, but mostly Min-kyu was an orphan in the camp.  Lieutenant Kok sometimes saw him scrounging for food with the other orphans, picking stray grains and corn kernels out of animal manure.  Just before he became a teenager, he was taken by the guards, never to be seen again.  Lieutenant Kok was never told what happened to him.  He hoped Min-kyu was living the good life somewhere, but that was unlikely.

So he continued to work every day until he could work no more.  A few days ago, he no longer had the strength to work, and so his captors discontinued his meager rations.  He was very weak now and was sure he would not last much longer.  He would sit outside today as much as he could, think of the good times he had with Su-bin and Min-kyu, and wait for the end.

* * * * *

As Kyung Hi-lee left the shower area of the refugee tent, she saw a sign reading "Attention: all parents who were forced to leave their children in China, please register here."

She had never forgotten about her two children, one boy and one girl, who she was forced to leave behind when Chinese policemen arrested her.  She had left North Korea because she was starving and ended up marrying a Chinese farmer who was cruel to her.  She did not know if the policemen found her because she made a mistake or because her husband wanted to trade her in for someone better looking.  She quickly walked to the registration desk to start the process.

* * * * *

Colonel Jang Yong-Suk was in his element at last.

Up until a few days ago, he was still only a major.  And he was only a major because his friend and classmate, Kim Yu-shin, interceded on his behalf, giving him a promotion from captain.  North Korean authorities never knew what to make of him.  He had a true photographic memory and was a whiz at logistics.  However, he never could bring himself to immerse himself in the cruelty that was required of all officers.  His personnel record was filled with negative remarks, sometimes ending with "Not suitable for command."

That was all in the past.  He was now the official minister of refugees.  He had already memorized the lists of people deported from China and the lists of people executed during the past 40 years.  Now it was his job to make the assignments to bring home the hundreds of thousands of Korean refugees living in China.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Ryu Ji-hoom was the daughter of Korean Christian missionaries who had worked in China.  They were an integral part of the Korean Underground Railway, bringing North Koreans to South Korea or the USA.  Both had served a year in a Chinese prison and were then permanently banned from China, preventing them from personally taking part in any more rescues.  They had to settle for fund-raising and coordination based in Seoul.  They could not understand the attitude of the previous two presidents who operated under the "Sunshine Policy" -- a policy of giving large amounts of money and aid without conditions -- which was promoted as the way towards peace, but in reality was quite the opposite.  The two administrations often refused to accept North Korean refugees at their consulates, causing many Koreans to dub the ten years of the two presidents as the "lost decade" in terms of Korean human rights.  The current president was a member of the conservative party and immediately changed the policy, ordering his diplomats to accept all North Korean refugees.

* * * * *

Captain Sobong Ye-jun was a legend in the South Korean military for the way he led his troops onto a ship which had been hijacked by Somali pirates and retook the ship, with no casualties to his men or the hostages.  The Somalis had not done as well, he was not sorry to say, with all but three dying on the ship in a hail of gunfire.  He believed in leading from the front and suffered a bullet wound to his ear as a result, essentially ending his commando career because he could no longer determine the direction of sounds.

Up until a few days ago, he had been working in a planning position, fighting from a desk.  He was told to report to Colonel Jang for an assignment.  He eagerly looked forward to another shot at glory.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Ryu and Lieutenant Choi's names were announced by Colonel Jang.  Both of them walked to his desk and stood in front of it.

"Lieutenant Ryu, Lieutenant Choi, you will work together on this mission.  Neither one of you will be in charge; you will come to a consensus on all decisions.  Northerners and Southerners need to learn to work together and this is as good as any place to start.  You will travel to an unofficial orphanage in China -- by unofficial, I mean it is someone's house where they look after abandoned children -- and find the two children of Kyung Hi-lee.  Where is she?  Kyung Hi-lee, come here, please.  Of course, you will all travel in civilian clothes like ordinary businesswomen," explained Colonel Jang.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Song wasn't accustomed to making breakfast for four people.  Actually she rarely made breakfast at all because she always just grabbed a quick bite and went to work.

She needed something from the fridge and turned around to open the door, jumping back a little in mild shock as she did so.  Standing in front of her were two little girls with nylon stockings over their heads, making them look like junior bank robbers.

"I see you are teaching them something besides English," she called out to the next room.

A man's head appeared just to the side of the door jamb.  His head was also covered in a nylon stocking.

"Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men ... or little girls," declared Talvela.

Lieutenant Song shook her head from side to side.  She bent down to the girls and said "I cannot tell which of you is Tan-na and which is Kan-na."

The two girls giggled and ran back to the room where Talvela was waiting.  Strange noises erupted from the room as the three of them continued playing their game.

"Those had better not be my new stockings!" demanded Lieutenant Song.

* * * * *

"Captain Sobong Ye-jun, please come here," requested Colonel Jang.

"You will be in command of this group of commandos, a mix of Northerners and Southerners.  You will travel to China as civilians and rescue a group of perhaps a dozen women who were tricked into working as prostitutes.  You will not be assigned firearms because if you are found with them, you could be accused of being spies.  You will be given pepper spray bottles to use if you find it necessary to silently incapacitate someone.  After you rescue the women, you will give them new passports and identities so that they can leave China without mishap.  The process for obtaining new passports will be explained on the bus," he explained.

"Colonel, if we run into trouble, is it possible for us to divert to a South Korean embassy," asked Captain Sobong.

"Only in a true emergency.  China has turned the entrances for all Western and Asian embassies and consulates into gauntlets, with barbed wire and other impediments.  There are multiple passport checks manned by Chinese policemen.  I think it will be safer if you return here in one of our buses.  Think about the cover story for the women; perhaps they could be entertainers.  It is not so important if the Chinese border police suspect that the women are former prostitutes because their passports will check out.  China has always had a policy of one hand winking at the other hand, so I suspect that everything will go well as long as we do not splash the truth onto their faces," concluded Colonel Jang.

"Good luck and good hunting."

* * * * *

Lieutenant Nam Tae-yeon had not been the best student in South Korea.  She had the worst scores in her officer training.  She now regretted going that route because her talents and chosen profession were clearly disparate.

Now she was not at all sure she was in her assigned town in the North.  She found the road signs a bit confusing.  She finally parked her government SUV and walked to the center of town.  If this wasn't her assigned town, she thought, she'd at least make the best of it.

At first she thought it was only a pile of trash.  But as she got closer, she was that it was actually two girls sitting close together.  Their clothes were dirty, tattered, and full of holes.  Their faces and hands were dirty, with some spots darker than others.

"Hello, my name is Lieutenant Nam Tae-yeon.  I am curious as to what you girls are doing."

"We are finding lice and removing them from each other.  It is not so easy for us to do it ourselves, but it is easy to do it to each other," answered one.

"How old are you?" asked Lieutenant Nam.

"I am ten and my friend is nine," replied the second girl.

"Where are your parents?" asked Lieutenant Nam.

"We are both orphans.  Our parents were executed by the government," replied the first girl.

"Come with me, please.  I will take you to have a good meal," implored Lieutenant Nam.

The girls looked a bit unsure about going with a stranger, but they did as they were asked.

* * * * *

Their destination was in sight, an apartment block which looked like all of the other ones, gray and dull.  They knew the flat number. All of their mouths were dry in anticipation, especially that of Kyung.

A man walked up to them.  "Excuse me, my name is Zhao Yun-fat.  I was told that you are businesswomen looking for opportunities," offered Zhao.

"Yes, it is true.  However, we must be careful when discussing our line of business.  Competition is fierce and we intend to be the first ones to release our products," countered Lieutenant Ryu.

"Our city offers much in the way of opportunity and hard-working people.  Please, I insist, you must come with me for lunch with our mayor.  We have much to offer Korean businesspeople," concluded Zhao.

"It would be impolite to refuse," said Lieutenant Choi.

The three women looked at each other with a mixture of amusement and annoyance.  They would have to wait a little longer.

* * * * *

"Colonel Jang, please give me an assignment to rescue children in China.  My job is in intelligence, keeping track of Chinese military units.  I speak fluent Mandarin and have traveled to China many times.  I know I was not in the group of officers which executed the coup against the selfish Kim family, but I am perfect for the job," pleaded Captain Roh Sok-yong.

"Yes, we can always use Mandarin speakers," replied Colonel Jang with a smile.  "We will use you in your current capacity, in intelligence.  Since you will be by yourself, you are not authorized to do anything other than observation.  You will contact me when you discover a situation which requires intervention.  Is that clear?"

"Yes, Colonel, thank you!"

* * * * *

Captain Sobong and Sergeant Yeong Jae-gu were dressed in typical business suits.  They walked along a busy street until they saw a Chinese policeman.  They approached him.

"Good morning, officer.  We are new to this area; obviously we are Koreans on a business trip.  Police officers always know what goes on in a city, so I will ask you a question.  Do you know of a bordello which employs Korean women?" asked Captain Sobong.

The officer paused a bit and made a strange motion with his hand.  Captain Sobong recognized the movement, having anticipated the corruption level of China.  He placed a Chinese bill in his hand.

"Yes, there is one," replied the officer.  "Go down this street until that curved building on the right.  Turn right there and go maybe two kilometers and you will see a blue and green building which has what you want."

"Thank you very much, officer," finished Captain Sobong.

As they walked away, Captain Sobong spoke softly to Sergeant Yeong, "In Busan, that corrupt behavior would never be tolerated."

"In Chongjin, that behavior would be normal," answered Sergeant Yeong with a smile.

"Let's take a walk and see if we can determine the opening hours of the bordello," said Captain Sobong.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Nam was walking along with the two girls when she spotted two boys even younger than the girls.  Both boys were pathetically thin and looked as if a slight breeze would topple them over.  They were unsuccessfully begging for money or food.

"Hello, my name is Lieutenant Nam Tae-yeon.  How old are you?"

The taller boy slowly turned to her.  "I am five."  His companion said nothing and just looked at her with lifeless eyes.

"I am taking these two girls to get some food at one of the kiosks.  Please come with us.  You need some food now," cajoled Lieutenant Nam.

The two boys listlessly followed the three of them.

* * * * *

General Terry had never been so busy in his life.  His command had become the de facto logistics coordinator, as both the South Korea government and General Grant were too busy with the never-ending refugee tasks.

Pyongyang's airport could never handle the extreme traffic which the many ground efforts required.  And given how poor the airport's infrastructure had become over the years, he really did not dare to send planes after dark, as the lights and signaling equipment were unsafe.

Seoul's Inchon airport was perhaps the best in the world, but the designers had never anticipated the current number of flights departing from and arriving on the Korean Peninsula.  And he could not monopolize Seoul's airport because shipments from South Korean manufacturers still needed to depart for worldwide customers.

The problem was that the countries of the world had other things, pressing matters, to worry about.  Depression 2.0 was still in full swing, so no country could afford to solely designate their aircraft to send aid.  Aid was coming in droves, but it was coming in from all points of the compass.  General Terry sometimes ordered planes to land in Japan where his crews could consolidate, sort, and re-pack the contents.

North Korea's railway system was pretty much a joke, with some routes taking days to travel what should have only taken hours.  High-speed rail was a mirage.  Therefore General Terry needed to plan how supplies were going to travel from an airport or port to where it was needed.

Aid was also arriving in ships, though that had just begun because of the time required to sail from North America, Europe, and other places.  He wondered if he should route everything to ports on the eastern coast of the Korea Peninsula to avoid Chinese naval vessels, given that China had issued a proclamation that the entire South China Sea belonged to it alone; the East China Sea might be next.

Unlike his friend General Grant, he planned to remain in his command for a long time to come.

His telephone rang.

"General Terry, this is Colonel Jang.  Have you made any progress on obtaining coal for the winter?  Many North Koreans use wood in their stoves and they have essentially denuded the hillsides of trees as a result.  I think some people will freeze to death if we do not stockpile coal for the coming winter."

"Yes, Colonel, we have ships on the way from Canada, South Africa, Australia, Columbia, and the USA.  One from Australia will arrive shortly, headed for the port of Najin.  I think we will have no trouble supplying you with enough coal for the winter," replied General Terry.

General Terry pondered on how the situation compared with supplying coal and supplies to Berlin during the Berlin Airlift.  Sending it by sea was so much safer and efficient.

"Also, General, I am worried about the many orphans and refugees temporarily housed in abandoned buildings.  As you know, we are using these buildings until we can build proper housing, but that will require years.  We are still desperately short of cots and blankets," continued Colonel Jang.

"Unfortunately we outsourced the production of cots and blankets to China and other countries a long time ago.  We have placed orders with manufacturers, paying them extra for top priority.  I think we'll beat winter, but not by much," answered General Terry.

"Thanks, General," concluded Colonel Jang.

* * * * *

Sergeants Chu Dong-ju and Paeng Keun-suk walked into the bordello right at opening time.

"I am really horny!" loudly announced Sergeant Chu.

"I am double-horny!" declared Sergeant Paeng.  "We want to see your two youngest girls."

A large man with a bulge under his right arm nodded ever so slightly and walked into the hallway behind the lobby.  He barked commands and two teenaged girls, perhaps 13-years-old, slowly walked into the lobby.

"They'll do fine," said Sergeant Paeng.  "No time to waste, let's go!"

The two sergeants and two girls walked into the hallway and then into a room with a divider in the middle.  Sergeant Chu closed the door behind him.

"We are not here for sex.  We are going to get you out of here," declared Sergeant Paeng.

The two girls looked at him.  "You don't want sex?" one of them asked incredulously.

Sergeant Paeng got right to business.  "How many Korean girls work here, in total?"

"Eleven," they both answered as one.

"Are all of them in the building right now?" asked Sergeant Chu.

The two girls nodded their heads.

"We dodged a bullet there," said Sergeant Paeng.  He thought to himself that the mission would have to be delayed if one of the girls was away.

"I did not see any customers.  Are any customers here now?" asked Sergeant Chu.

The two girls shook their heads.

"How many employees are in the building right now?" asked Sergeant Chu.

"Four: three security and one manager," the second girl answered.

Sergeant Paeng pulled his cellphone from his pocket and started texting: "come now, in room; 0 clients; 11 girls; 3 heavy, 1 fat."

* * * * *

Lieutenant Nam saw two more children, this time two girls who were not close in terms of age.  As with the others, they were dressed in clothes which only ragamuffins would wear.

"Hello, my name is Lieutenant Nam Tae-yeon.  How old are you?" she asked the older girl.

"I am twelve and my sister is six," she answered.

"What happened to your parents?" queried Lieutenant Nam.

"They just disappeared one day.  Then someone came to our apartment and told us to leave.  We have been living on the streets for many months now," she replied.

"These four children and I are going to the kiosks to obtain some food.  Come with us and you can have a good meal," insisted Lieutenant Nam.

As they walked down the street, the 6-year-old girl moved close to Lieutenant Nam and grabbed her hand.

* * * * *

Major Suk Cheol-soo watched with satisfaction at the other side of the Amrok river as the Chinese tanks and trucks started their departure.

They had been massing near the entrance to the bridge ever since the announcement.  As soon as tanks were spotted, he ordered North Korean tanks to drive onto the middle lane of the bridge to a point just inside of the border with China.  In case the Chinese tanks began their drive towards taking control of their former satellite, he would order his tanks to form a skirmish line, blocking all lanes.

His orders were clear: China was not to cross the bridge under any circumstances.  If necessary, the bridge was to be disabled via explosives.  China's action would be a bridge too far.

He feared that China would attempt to install Kim Disney-un, the older brother of Kim Young-un, as the leader.  Kim Disney-un had been living in China, under China's protective eye, and it was certainly possible that China would try to forcibly install its choice of leader.

China would also have rapidly moved east to secure the port of Najin, a true ice-free port unlike Russia's Vladivostok just to the north and one essential for China's international commerce, dividing the country once again.

But it appeared that China had taken the hint: it would not be allowed to interfere.  The tanks were returning to their bases.

The Chinese forces would never know that hand-held surface-to-ground missiles had been moved to the border with China as a precautionary measure.  If China had attempted to occupy North Korea with helicopter-based troops to prevent South Korea and especially the USA from moving north of the DMZ, there would have been a bloodbath, with most of the blood being Chinese.

* * * * *

Captain Roh watched the Chinese farmer balance his load on his under-fed, over-worked donkey.  His two young children walked behind.  Even though the farmer was straining his muscles keeping the load on the donkey, Captain Roh noticed that he smiled at his children when they asked something.  Captain Roh waited until they passed by a roadside cafe before approaching.

"Excuse me sir, my name is Roh Sok-yong.  I work for the North Korean government, in child welfare.  We have been investigating cases of child abandonment and abuse of half-and-half children.  However, I could not help but notice that your relationship with your children is good.  The boy, he is 100% Chinese while the girl is half-Korean, correct?" asked Captain Roh.

"You have an eye for detail, sir.  Yes, my son, Shen'en, is Chinese by my first wife who died in childbirth.  My daughter, Yunxiang, is half-Korean by my second wife who left us," replied Diao Shaojie.

"Please, sir, I would like to buy you and your children lunch at this cafe," offered Captain Roh.

"Since we are so poor, I will accept.  My children are very hungry," answered Diao as he gave a little bow.  "My name is Diao Shaojie."

Captain Roh ordered food for the four of them while Diao tied his donkey to a fence.  The children looked at him with wide eyes.

"They will be attending school soon, yes?" asked Captain Roh.

Diao sighed.  "Yes, Shen'en will start school in the next session, but I do not know what I will do with Yunxiang.  I cannot afford the hukou and the bribes that go along with convincing the bureaucrats that a second child should attend school the same as the first.  Our stupid one-child policy is so restrictive.  She will grow up as an uneducated peasant and never be able to meet her full potential," railed Diao.

"Is your donkey your only large animal?" asked Captain Roh.

"Yes.  And I wish I could afford another one.  A tractor would be a gift from heaven, but I am not holding my breath," answered Diao.

"I hope I am not being too personal, but what happened to your Korean wife?" queried Captain Roh.

"Since you are paying for lunch, I guess you can be a little personal," chuckled Diao.  "I met Lee Wen-di through a broker.  She was not terribly considerate, but as you can see I am not a looker so I married her immediately.  One year after Yunxiang was born, she disappeared.  I later heard that she had moved to South Korea.  I took every last bit of money we had and traveled to South Korea.  I thought she would be happy to see us and we would be a family again.  But she had already found another man, one with a good job.  She icily told us that she never wanted to see any of us again.  I was glad that Yunxiang was too young to understand how her mother rejected her like that.  We moved back here, but now we are living from day-to-day because I have no savings," admitted Diao.

* * * * *

The commandos parked their bus and walked to the bordello.  Captain Sobong started giving orders.

"Sergeant Yeong, you and I will schmooze with the management and pretend to be lushes taking a break from our hard life as Korean businessmen.  Corporals Eom and Im, you will be the primary sprayers.  Corporals Jeo and Corporal Pan, you will be in reserve for surprises.  We will refer to each other as Mister Yeong, Mister Sobong, and so on.  Remember, big smiles on everyone!  We are sleazy businessmen who want to sleep with Korean girls.  Play your part," explained Captain Sobong.

As they entered the nightclub, they were met by a large man with a bulge under his right arm.  Corporals Eom and Im paid close attention to him.  He was obviously a member of their security team, as he did not say a word or smile.

A second man, fat with a false smile, walked up to the men. "Welcome to our happy club!  I am sure we will make you very happy," he declared in a slimy sort of way.

"My friends and I would like to party with Korean girls," said Captain Sobong much louder than necessary.

In their room, Sergeants Chu and Paeng and the two girls stood up.

"That's what we do best," said the fat man.

"We would like to see the girls now, please," said Captain Sobong.

"I would like to see all of your girls.  Maybe I will party with two of them!" added Sergeant Yeong with a big smile.

"Of course.  We have eleven girls, but two are busy right now," replied the fat man.  He motioned to the security guard to bring the girls out for display.

Nine sad-looking, young Korean women walked out slowly.  They stood there looking at the floor.  The security guard walked behind the bar.

Captain Sobong noticed that every girl looked like a doll, with heavy black mascara and eyeliner, over-the-top rouge, ruby red lipstick, garishly electric blue finger and toe nail polish, and thick concealer to hide the circles under their eyes from long days.  The youngest was probably 15-years-old.

"I would like a drink," said Sergeant Yeong.  "Mister Eom, please join me."

"Mister Im, please bring the money bag over here," said Captain Sobong.

Captain Sobong and Sergeant Yeong looked at each other.  Captain Sobong nodded every so slightly.  Captain Sobong gently squeezed the arm of Corporal Im and Sergeant Yeong gently squeezed the arm of Corporal Eom.

"Now!" Captain Sobong shouted.

Corporals Eom and Im reached into their bags and brought out their pepper spray bottles.  In one smooth, fluid motion, they brought them level with the eyes of the two Chinese men and started spraying.  The security guard did not even look up until the gas was upon him.  He doubled up with his hands over his face.  Sergeant Yeong and Corporal Eom removed the pistol from under his arm and laid it on the floor in the far corner of the room.  The fat man saw the attack coming, but he was so fat and slow that he could not raise his hands before the gas enveloped him.  He doubled up just like his employee.

Two other security men walked quickly into the lobby from the other end of the hallway after hearing the commotion.

Sergeants Chu and Paeng opened the door of their room as quietly as they could and walked behind the two security men.  "I'll bet my gun is bigger than yours," said Sergeant Paeng.

The two security men turned around in surprise, not realizing that anyone was behind them.  Sergeants Chu and Paeng sprayed them heavily in the face with their pepper spray.  As the two men doubled over, the two sergeants removed their pistols from their holsters.

"We are Korean commandos, North and South!  We will take you back home!  If you have any valuables, run to your rooms and retrieve them!  We must leave immediately!" ordered Captain Sobong, addressing the women.

The girls ran to their rooms as ordered, grabbed what little possessions they had, and ran back to the lobby.  Sergeants Chu and Paeng followed them, looking through all of the rooms to make sure they left no one behind.  They threw the two pistols onto one of the beds.

Corporals Eom and Im opened their bags again and brought out cheap dresses and makeup remover pads for the girls.

"They aren't couture, but they will make you look like typical girls," instructed Captain Sobong.  "Just throw them on over your clothes.  And try to remove some of that gaudy makeup."

Sergeant Yeong brought out his satellite telephone.  "Departing now!" he told the driver of their bus.

Corporals Jeo and Pan opened the door and cautiously peered out, looking for policemen or anyone else who could cause them trouble, but the only people in the street were children playing a game.  They exited the building, followed by Sergeant Yeong, Sergeants Chu and Paeng, the 11 girls, Corporals Eom and Im, and finally Captain Sobong.

They walked down the street towards their bus.  They boarded it and rode it out of the city.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Nam used her phone to call Colonel Jang.  "Colonel, I need a bus for all of the children I have found!"

"How large of a bus?" asked Colonel Jang.

"I have 30 children so far and I have not completely searched the hiding places the children tell me they use here.  I'll have to give you my GPS coordinates because I am not sure where I am," admitted Lieutenant Nam.

"I take it that map and compass were not your favorite tools in training.  Never mind, I'll get a bus out to you pronto," promised Colonel Jang.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Ryu, Lieutenant Choi, and Kyung paused outside the door of the apartment.

"I have dreamed of this day for so long.  What if my children no longer recognize me?  What if I no longer recognize them?" she cried.

"Not a chance.  A mother always recognizes her children and vice versa.  Just make sure you bend down before they reach you or they might knock you over because they are so happy to see you," said Lieutenant Ryu.

Kyung slowly opened the door and walked inside.  Almost immediately her two children screamed and ran towards her.  She tried to bend down, but it was to no avail; Sung-hoon and Eun-hee knocked her on her butt.  She sat there both crying and laughing.

While the three became reacquainted, Sin Yu-jin, the apartment owner, walked over to the two lieutenants.  "We expected you here earlier.  What happened?" she asked.

"Oh, you would not believe it.  The mayor wanted to have lunch with us to convince us that this city is suitable for opening our 'business.'  And they kept bringing food and drink.  It was a little embarrassing, to be honest," answered Lieutenant Ryu.

"Two of your colleagues arrived earlier and took the other two children.  Even though I love these children and will miss them dearly, I am very happy that they are going home.  They would end up illiterate because they would be unable to obtain a hukou, what China calls a person's identification, needed to attend school and obtain medical care," said Sin.

All this time, Lieutenant Choi was watching the last boy, Nae Hak-chul.  He just sat dejectedly and watched the reunion of his friends.  "Do you know anything regarding the whereabouts of his mother?" she asked.

"Only that she was arrested.  His father is a Chinese businessman who dumped him here right after his wife was arrested.  I met him only once and I disliked him immediately," answered Sin.

"I will call Colonel Jang and ask him."  Lieutenant Ryu called him.  "Colonel Jang, do you know anything about a boy named Nae Hak-chul?"

"Let me think."  He searched though his photographic memory, pattern-matching names, dates, and locations.  "I am fairly certain his mother was executed.  His mother and Kyung were arrested on the same day and for whatever reason, Nae was executed and Kyung was only imprisoned.  I am sorry, but the records tend to only contain dates and names, not reasons," concluded Colonel Jang.

"Thank you, Colonel," Lieutenant Ryu said as she hung up.

"Why do you do this?  I mean, why do you risk your life to rescue children you do not know?" Lieutenant Choi asked Sin.

"We are Christians," answered Sin.

"What is a Christian?" interrupted Lieutenant Choi.

"Yes, you would not know about that.  Oh, boy, what a long story!  There was this man named Jesus who lived around 2000 years ago.  From all accounts, he was quite charismatic, with people following him in droves.  He was a pacifist.  He eschewed wealthy people and spent his time tending to the sick, the downtrodden, and prostitutes.  The leadership at the time could see that he was stirring up trouble with his radical ideas of salvation after death.  He was eventually executed in a particularly grisly manner, crucified on a wooden cross with his hands and feet nailed to the cross.  Christians believe that he was not just a man, but the actual son of God.  We refer to him as Christ for that reason.  We use a cross as a symbol to remember him," explained Sin.

"Do Christians believe that Jesus will return?" asked Lieutenant Choi.

"Yes, we do, though there is no general agreement as to when that might be," continued Sin.

"When Jesus returns, wouldn't a cross be the last thing he would want to see?" asked Lieutenant Choi.

Both Sin and Lieutenant Ryu laughed.  "I never thought of it that way," Lieutenant Ryu interjected.

"Do other religions rescue children in this manner?" asked Lieutenant Choi.

"Um, no, they do not.  It is strange, I would think that Jews would have the same compassion, given what they went through in WWII with the Holocaust," explained Sin.

"Muslims, on the other hand, never rescue children anywhere in the world, as far as I know.  There could not be a bigger contrast between Christianity and Islam.  As I said, Jesus was a pacifist and allowed himself to be executed.  He gave all of his money to the poor.  His followers, especially early Christians, died rather than deny their faith.  There are plenty of stories of how Christians allowed themselves to be eaten by wild beasts rather than renounce their faith.  Muhammad, the man who created Islam, was quite the opposite.  He preached that Islam should be spread by the sword.  His followers invaded Spain and Portugal shortly after his death, occupying those countries for almost a thousand years.  Today, Muslim men force their women to wear long robes, often covering the entire faces of women.  There was a case in Saudi Arabia about ten years ago where schoolgirls were not allowed to exit a burning building because they were not wearing their long robes, with many of them dying," concluded Sin.

"Islam sounds like a belief system for losers, for violent control-freak men and submissive women lacking self-confidence.  I will work hard to ensure that our new government is not another totalitarian one: no dictatorship by personality cult, chaibol, or religious nuts.  No man will force me to wear a sack and walk behind him.  I have had enough of tyrants," declared Lieutenant Choi.

"Koreans are not 'rice-Christians'; that was the term used to describe pre-Mao Chinese people when they professed to believe in Christianity, as everyone knew that they were doing it only to obtain more rice.  South Korea is the second-most Christian Asian country after the Philippines.  And possession of a Bible in North Korea was a capital offense, hence why you never heard of Christianity," added Sin.

"I have a spare Bible I could give you.  It details the life of Jesus and much, much more," offered Sin.

"Yes, I would like that," said Lieutenant Choi.  She looked over at Hak-chul.  "We will take him to North Korea with us.  I will pretend to be his mother.  It is the Christian thing to do," she declared.

Both Sin and Lieutenant Ryu smiled.

"Hak-chul, please come here," said Sin.  He walked to where Sin was standing.

"These two women will take you back to North Korea.  Lieutenant Choi will pretend to be your mother until you actually leave China.  Do you think you can pretend that she is your mother for a day or two?" asked Sin.

Hak-chul nodded shyly.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Ryu, Lieutenant Choi, Kyung, and the three children had boarded the same bus carrying the commandos and the eleven women.

Nam Min-soo approached the three women.  Lieutenant Ryu was amazed at him because of his diminutive stature.  He was shorter than five feet tall, yet he was in his 20s and full-grown.  He nearly died from starvation more than once and it greatly affected his growth.  Lieutenant Choi and Kyung were not surprised, as they had seen it many times before.

"Ladies, we need to take passport photos of the children.  And we need to determine the proper personal data, even if that data is fictitious.  I need to know which of you will be the official parents of the children.  I have a passport machine in the very rear of the bus which I already used for the eleven women the commandos rescued.  After you re-enter Korea, the false passports will be collected," explained Nam.

"Does he know where my mama is?" Hak-chul asked Lieutenant Choi.

"I do not think so.  Wait until we reach North Korea, okay?" asked Lieutenant Choi as her eyes misted up.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Kok was sitting in the sun when he heard voices.  At first he ignored them.  But then he realized that they sounded different than the voices of his captors or fellow prisoners.  They sounded young -- and South Korean.

He stood up in the hope that they might see him.

* * * * *

"Colonel Jang, the children of Diao Shaojie and Lee Wen-di are in fine hands with Diao in terms of parental love.  However, they live at the very edge of existence.  The children look like skeletons.  If they become sick, they could quickly die," declared Captain Roh.

"Okay, Captain, this is what we will do," answered Colonel Jang.

* * * * *

Doctor Lee Mi-hyun was waiting for the group of commandos and rescued women.  "Ladies, we would like to give you a medical examination, as we do for all refugees.  Please come with me," he said.

The eleven women first turned to the commandos, bowed, and gave each one of them a hug in thanks.  They then turned and followed Doctor Lee into the examination area.

"Let's get something to eat.  Then we will find Colonel Jang and get another assignment," declared Captain Sobong.

* * * * *

Lieutenant Ryu, Lieutenant Choi, and Kyung separated at the refugee camp.  Kyung took her two children and went in the camp along with the other refugees.  Everyone hugged each other, knowing that they might never see each other again.

Kyung walked to a table where her parents were sitting.  "Father, mother, this is Sung-hoon and Eun-hee.  Children, these are my parents, your grandparents," she said.

* * * * *

Talvela, Lieutenant Song, and the twins entered the conference room of South Korean President Park Joon-ho.  Lieutenant Song and the twins walked to the end of the conference table.  On the surface, it looked like they were being polite, having the two girls away from the rest of the group, but since they were at the end, they were easy for the executives to see.

"Mr. President, thank you for holding this meeting.  Gentlemen, thank you for coming on such short notice," began Talvela.

"Very soon, North Korea will be able to hold talks on future business.  There are prime locations to be assigned.  As is always true, some locations will have perfect access to mass transit and a railway line.  Less desirable locations will require the use of trucks to move products.  Of course, you will want to build all future factories in North Korea because of the drastically improved transportation, not to mention that your new factories will operate under your native tongue," continued Talvela.

"However, we have a severe problem with orphans.  Very soon we will have thousands of orphans in need of housing.  We simply do not have the space to hold them all.  So here is my proposal.  We will give you, the chief executives of the major South Korean companies, prime locations for your next factories.  We will, in conjunction with South Korea, improve the metro lines and the notoriously poor railway system so you can transport your products most efficiently," he said.

Almost as if on cue, Tan-na and Kan-na giggled at the end of the table, drawing everyone's attention to them.  Talvela and Lieutenant Song's eyes met for a fleeting moment.

"And in return, you will supply project management, all building equipment and supplies, and trained foremen to build new orphanages in Pyongyang.  North Korea has plenty of workmen.  Given that Internet access will not be available outside Pyongyang for years, maybe many years, we need to situate all of the orphans in Pyongyang so that get the best start in life," continued Talvela.

"And you will provide basic laptops to all orphans, both from the North and South, for the foreseeable future.  Their life sucks enough as it is, so giving them an educational leg-up is essential," finished Talvela.

It was an offer they could not refuse.

* * * * *

Lieutenants Ryu and Choi took Hak-chul to the house of his grandparents, the sole remaining relatives he had left.

"I realize you have never met your grandparents, but I am sure they will give you a good home," said Lieutenant Choi.

Lieutenant Ryu knocked on the door.  Hak-chul's grandparents opened the door and the three of them went inside.

"Do you know where my mama is?" asked Hak-chul of his grandparents.

All four adults just looked at each other, not quite sure of what to say.  Hak-chul's grandfather bent down in front of him.  "Come and sit by me.  I have a story to tell you," he said.

* * * * *

The bus pulled up at the entrance to the refugee camp.  Lieutenant Nam emerged and stood next to the door and called for the children.  One after another they exited the bus, with Lieutenant Nam counting to make sure they were accounted for.

40 hungry children walked as fast as their starved bodies would allow to the canteen with Lieutenant Nam following them like a mother duck and her ducklings in reverse order.  Maybe this military thing was okay after all, she thought.

* * * * *

For the first time in well over 60 years there were no weapons to be seen in Panmunjom.

"Father, do you remember me?  I am Min-kyu, your son.  The North Korean authorities took me away to work as a logger, but I escaped and made my way to South Korea with the help of Christian missionaries," exclaimed Min-kyu.

"Yes, I remember; you have grown up," answered Lieutenant Kok.

"This is my wife, Seul-ki.  I have two sons who are both in the army; they are very busy right now.  These are their two wives, Ji-yeong and Eun-ju.  And these are your great-grandchildren, Hyun-woo and Jin-hye," continued Min-kyu.

"Lieutenant Kok, I am South Korean President Park Joon-ho.  Welcome home.  I am so sorry we could not bring you home sooner," apologized President Park.

"Thank you, Mr. President.  It is so good to finally be home," declared Lieutenant Kok.

"I do not intend to be impolite, but I would very much like to have something to eat.  I am starving," said Lieutenant Kok.

* * * * *

"I would like to be the temporary mother of the next orphan we find," said Lieutenant Ryu on their way from Hak-chul's grandparent's house back to the refugee camp.

"Of course, it is the Christian thing to do," replied Lieutenant Choi.

* * * * *

"Major, you really need to see this," said the soldier.

Major Suk walked to the car which had been stopped on the approach to the bridge.  He could see that the driver was the mayor of Pyongyang, Bling Ka-ching.

Their car was filled to the roof with loot, so much so that the tires were sagging.  The soldiers had already started to empty it and had discovered gold coins, bottles of expensive French wine, a small box of diamonds, Rolex watches, boxes of Cuban cigars, a large box of euros and dollars, Chanel stockings, and cases of perfume.

Many of the items had come from Bling's stores in Pyongyang which offered luxury goods to the elite.  His star had risen dramatically after the death of Kim Gour-met, who had once sentenced him to house arrest for almost two years for trying to gain too much power for himself.

Just like rats leaving a sinking ship, thought Major Suk to himself.  This wasn't the first car full of loot he had seen.

"Major, this one's not quite as good as the last car, right?" asked the soldier.

Major Suk chuckled.  "You mean, you liked the car with the spheres of plutonium in it better?"

* * * * *

The character of the Kumsusan Palace of the Sun had completely changed since Kim Young-un had been deposed.

It had been the official residence for the head of state until the death of the first Kim family dictator, Kim Song-bun.  But after his death, his son and heir, Kim Gour-met, realized that transforming his father into a Korean god would suit his purposes, just as Stalin realized that placing Lenin on public display in a mausoleum would greatly further his goal of creating a cult of personality.  So the palace was converted into a mausoleum, with Kim Song-bun's body preserved in the same manner and largely by the same experts who keep the founder of the Soviet Union permanently preserved under glass.

Kim Gour-met placed statues and photos of his father in every room and public square in the country.  Every railway car contained a photo of the Great Leader.  Every family was expected to keep a photo of the Eternal President in their house; if the photo was found to be missing, the entire family might find themselves sentenced to a long stay in one of the many prison camps.  It was impossible to travel within North Korea without seeing a photo of the first dictator.  And then after Kim Gour-met died, he was entombed in the same manner as his father, with his photo and eventually that of his son became ubiquitous as well.

After the coup, Colonel Kim and Talvela thought it might be therapeutic to allow people to continue to view the bodies of Kim Song-bun and Kim Gour-met.  Since they knew this display would not go on much longer, they instructed the keepers of the corpse to just use formaldehyde to maintain the two bodies.  The fancy equipment, including refrigeration pumps, required lots of electricity to run and that power was needed elsewhere.

The mausoleum had become an unofficial place for North and South Korean soldiers to take a break after the coup.

During the reigns of Kim Gour-met and Kim Young-un, mausoleum visitors were required to bow multiple times and display a deep sense of respect.  However, within a day of the coup, people started showing extreme disrespect to the corpses.  They began yelling insults of all varieties.  The soldiers hanging around thought this was most amusing and often broke out laughing at some of the things visitors said.

Today the mood became downright ugly.  Large crowds of people began to gather around and inside the mausoleum.  The soldiers had no intention of interfering, but they wanted any gatherings to remain peaceful.

Suddenly a group of men walked to the glass case and started smashing it with hammers.  The soldiers started to walk towards the disturbance, but the crowd called on them to stay out of it.  The men had come prepared with a wheeled cart, which they used to carry the two corpses out of the building.  They also broke into the storage cabinet and stole the jugs of formaldehyde.

The soldiers wondered where they were going with the bodies and formaldehyde.

* * * * *

Colonel Kim, President Park, Talvela, Lieutenant Song, and a few others were gathered around a table in Panmunjom.  Quite unlike meetings in the past where North Koreans sat one side, South Koreans sat on the other side, and both sides glared at each other, the participants were mixed, sitting in a semi-random order around the table.

"Mr. President, Colonel Kim, I know South Korea has an educational scheme for North Korean defectors," began Talvela.  "You attempt to teach them the ways of the South, but their integration is not very successful, with many of them ending up working in menial jobs because they lack the skills to perform at their best in the consumerist culture of the South.  Some of them were so frustrated that they returned to the North.  This approach is not acceptable for the current situation."

"Yes, and the money we give those people often ends up in the hands of grifters because the newcomers are naive in the ways of capitalism.  We have done a poor job of educating them in the perils of money management.  We also failed in not prosecuting those parasites and not voiding any contracts involved in the swindle," admitted President Park.

"We need to create a new educational scheme and soon," continued Talvela.  We have different levels of people in the North.  The people of Pyongyang are well-educated, except in history and current affairs.  They will require education in those subjects, along with the Korean spoken in the South.  Also, they will need to understand the toys, especially smartphones.  However, people outside Pyongyang will require much more, as their education has been lacking compared to the residents of Pyongyang."

"Yes, I cannot believe some of the things Northerners are ignorant of, even things which South Korean children know well," exclaimed Colonel Kim.

"And the many orphans, refugees, and former labor camp inmates will require a completely different educational system.  They will need a custom education to bring them up to the level of Southerners.  Orphans generally did not finish high school and some are much worse off.  Counseling will be paramount, as many of them believe that the world is one big prison camp.  Their self-confidence has been shattered and they will simply not be able to understand an entrepreneurial point of view," continued Talvela.

"That is especially true with respect to orphans.  The younger they became orphaned, the more insecure they will be regarding life in general.  And the older ones who were forced to make their way in the world without the guidance of parents almost certainly have a grim view of life," added Lieutenant Song.

"Many people, especially older ones, will need to be given apartments, financial assistance that rises with the cost of living, and jobs so they feel as if they are contributing to society.  These jobs may very well consist of sweeping the streets, as the South's modern society may be beyond them.  It is not acceptable to simply discard them like yesterday's fish," concluded Talvela.

"We have already started planning for this.  We realize this will be expensive, very expensive.  We will need to raise taxes on Southerners and they will complain, but the lesson of Germany is always in our mind.  Even today Eastern Germany has unemployment rates higher than that of Western Germany.  Integration will not be complete until it is difficult to tell whether someone is in the North or the South," declared President Park.

* * * * *

Lieutenants Choi and Ryu stood before Colonel Jang.  "Colonel, we brought back three children.  Two were the children of Kyung Hi-lee and the third was an orphan, Hak-chul.  The mission went without any problems," Lieutenant Choi lied a little.

Colonel Jang smiled at their initiative in bringing the third child back.

"We would like another assignment as soon as possible, please," finished Lieutenant Ryu.

* * * * *

Kang Kun-Hee was a ham.  He loved the spotlight.  He never got the chance to shine in North Korea, always having to defer to a superior.  No longer!

"Ladies and gentleman, I would like to draw your attention to the boxes in the center of the room.  They have warnings on them in Korean because they contain components for nerve gas.  Watch as I open one of the sealed boxes," began Kang.

He proceeded to open the top of the box and lift the top.

"Watch as I remove one of the canisters.  Oops, almost dropped it!  Just kidding!"

He laughed as the audience of reporters and dignitaries gasped.

"Doesn't that fool know it is one of the most toxic chemicals ever invented?" one man asked another.

"Note that the markings on the canister are in Chinese.  Here, let me turn it so the television cameras can read the label," continued Kang.

He rotated the canister so the label pointed directly toward the mass of cameras.

"See?  Made in China!  This is one reason why China desperately wanted to intervene here, to eliminate any proof that it was responsible for supplying much of the DPRK's supply of WMDs."

The audience murmured at the revelation.

* * * * *

Diao raised his head at the noise outside.  Almost no one ever visited his pathetic farm.  "Come, children, let's go outside," he declared.

He could not believe his eyes.  There was a truck with a trailer attached to it.  On the trailer was a shiny tractor, a plow and other attachments, and a barrel of gasoline.

A North Korean soldier slowly backed the tractor off the trailer and drove it toward the house.  A South Korean soldier disconnected the trailer and pushed it away from the truck.  He opened the rear of the truck, pulled out a built-in ramp, and walked a donkey down the ramp and toward the house.  The North Korean soldier started unloading the hay inside the truck.

Captain Roh walked toward them with his hands behind his back.  The children walked to him as he brought his hands forward, revealing two teddy bears.  They shyly accepted the bears and walked behind their father.

"This should be enough money for Yunxiang's hukou and the associated bribes," announced Captain Roh as he handed Diao an envelope.

Diao could not say anything as the tears rolled down his face in gratitude.

* * * * *

"Lieutenant Nam, you did pretty well for someone who was hopelessly lost," chided Colonel Jang.  "Did you know that your target village was 35 kilometers away from where you ended up?"

Lieutenant Nam blushed.

"Lieutenant Jo Soon-kyu here will accompany you on your next assignment.  She was first in her class in navigation," said Colonel Jang with a chuckle.

"But, very good work today.  Very good, indeed," concluded Colonel Jang.

"One more thing.  Lieutenant Jo and I will need a ride because I kinda left the SUV up there," sheepishly admitted Lieutenant Nam.

* * * * *

Up until today the door of the apartment was guarded to prevent him from leaving.  But now the guard had disappeared.

"I wonder why they would stop guarding the door of such an important man," pondered Kim Young-un to his wife.  "Let's go for a walk in the park!"

"It is suicidal to travel without ample security personnel," asserted his wife, Dior Hand-bag.

"I am determined to walk outside today.  I think I will wear a sun hat and world-class Mao-style clothes.  I am sure the people still love me and would never hurt me.  Why, they will probably demand that I be returned to power immediately!" answered Kim.

"Let me first change into one of my couture outfits," acceded Dior.

"Yes, a fine day to walk in a country which knows how to treat its citizens!" declared Kim.

They exited their apartment and walked outside.  They never noticed the small group of men who noticed the couple and started making cellphone calls.

They had walked about three blocks from their apartment when a large group of people appeared.  The mob walked purposefully toward them, shouting various insults and making rude gestures.  Dior immediately wrapped her arms around a lamp post and started sobbing.

"Forget the plump bimbo!  We only want him!" shouted a voice from the mob.

The mob gathered around him and tied his wrists and ankles together, tying a third rope between them so that he was trundled like a lamb for the slaughter.

"But I am the Great Successor, the Supreme Leader, and the Shining Sun," Kim implored.  "I have many university degrees!"

"Yeah, none of which you earned!" yelled a man in the crowd as everyone laughed.

"Better return to singing and slutting!" one man hissed at Dior.

Dior watched as the mob dragged her husband away.  When everyone had left, she ran back to their apartment as fast as she could, locked the door behind her, and collapsed into a chair.

They dragged him to a nearby park.  In the middle of the park, another group of people had erected a lattice of recently felled trees.  The bodies of Kim Gour-met and Kim Song-bun had been tied to the top of the lattice.  Inside the lattice had been thrown piles of party newspapers and broken wood furniture, including an old, beat-up rocking horse.

The mob carried Kim to the top of the lattice and tied his body on top of the corpses of his father and grandfather, face-down so that he could see nothing but the faces of his two dead ancestors.  Some men poured flammable formaldehyde all over the three Kims.  Then everyone climbed down from the structure.

Around twenty people lit crumpled pieces of newspaper and threw them into the structure, causing many small fires to start.  The small fires quickly became one large fire, climbing relentlessly to the three Kims.

Many people threw packs of firecrackers into the fire, with the explosions continuing one after the other.  Almost everyone threw photos of the three Kims into the fire, with some being large ones taken from railways cars and other public places.

The fire reached the two formaldehyde-soaked corpses and burst into a fireball which burnt so hot that it started melting the fat of Kim.  His fat dripped onto the logs, with the fire emitting black smoke.

"Welcome to the world's only true burning man festival!" one man loudly declared as people started dancing in jubilation around the bonfire.

Kim screamed.

The crowd cheered.

* * * * *


CHRISTIAN TALVELA: Senators, ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for the opportunity to speak in this honored venue.

I had one main plan, to ignite the fires of nationalism.  I intended to light a bonfire so large and intense so that even the naked hippies at the Burning Man Festival would be forced to kneel down in deference to a greater power.  But I could build all the bonfires I wanted and nothing would have happened without help on the inside.

Adolf Hitler's Germany was overthrown, but not before the deaths of millions of people, mainly Eastern Europeans and Soviets.  And even though the Holocaust is an established fact with countless photographic, movie film, physical, and written records, there are imbeciles who claim that it only involved a relative handful of people.

A similar situation exists today in Turkey where the Islamist government refuses to accept that the Ottoman Empire was directly responsible for the deaths of two million people in the Armenian Genocide, which actually started in the late 1800s.

This is why we held the get-together for the women forced into prostitution to serve the Japanese army leading up to and during WWII, the so-called comfort women.  As many of you remember, we staged a peninsula-wide advertising campaign to notify all women who were wronged via this Japanese cruelty.  We held it during one week in Panmunjom.  We invited all of these women, who are sadly entering their last years with many living in poverty, to sit for a video interview.  I think we have around 100 of these interviews being edited.  When the editing is completed, we will allow the interviews to be viewed in two places: the reunification museum in Panmunjom and on a dedicated website.  Dangerously ignorant Japanese like the current prime minister who insist that the so-called comfort women volunteered to serve as pin cushions for the Japanese army will have a difficult time explaining the interviews, most of which are simply painful to watch.  This gathering was limited to Koreans, but since the event, we have had Chinese, Filipino, and other women ask if they can attend next year's gathering.

The Soviet Union fell, not because Ronald Reagan made his famous speech in Berlin -- "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall" -- as the "tax cuts create jobs" crowd ignorantly believes, but because its leader, Mikhail Gorbachev, was not willing to use machine guns against his people.  He believed in "socialism with a human face," as he naively believed Soviet citizens, given the choice, would retain the communist system.  He told a Communist Party conference in 1988 "the imposition of a social system, a way of life, or policies from outside by any means, let alone military force, are dangerous trappings of the past," effectively renouncing the Brezhnev Doctrine, the policy governing the ruling of Eastern Europe by force.

In July 1989 in Strasbourg, Gorbachev proclaimed: "The social and political order in some countries changed in the past, and it can change in the future too, but this is entirely a matter for each people to decide.  Any interference in the internal affairs, or any attempt to limit the sovereignty of another state, friend, ally, or another, would be inadmissible."  In May 1989, Hungary started to dismantle the fence separating it from Austria, which led to East Germans escaping through it, which led to the Pan-European Picnic in August.  Also in August approximately 2 million Estonians, Latvians, and Lithuanians held hands across the three countries in the Baltic Way demonstration against the 50th anniversary of the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact.  In September the Monday Demonstrations started in Leipzig, East Germany; by October, these demonstrations attracted more than 300,000 people.  In November the Berlin Wall fell.

Reagan did not win the Cold War.  Gorbachev allowed it to end by inaction because given a choice, intelligent people will choose something other than a totalitarian government.

Vladimir Lenin and Joseph Stalin did not hesitate to kill their subjects to maintain the dictatorship.  Vyacheslav Molotov, a true believer in Bolshevism until his death in 1986 and Stalin's foreign minister, said in his quasi-memoirs that Stalin was like a lamb compared to Lenin in terms of brutality and that's saying something given that Stalin ordered the killings of more people than anyone except Mao and possibly Genghis Khan.  Speaking of Stalin and Khrushchev, it is an insult to the president who served during both of their reigns, Dwight Eisenhower, to say that Reagan won the Cold War all by himself.  Eisenhower had to deal with the last weeks of Stalin, then with the period where we really had no clue who was running the Soviet Union, and then with Khrushchev.  Former general Eisenhower also cut the defense budget by 20% and was the last Republican president to have a budget surplus, something today's politicians should remember.

Yuri Andropov, may have been the most dangerous General Secretary since Stalin.  He served in Budapest in 1956 during the uprising.  The sight of Hungarian secret policemen being hung from lamp posts left a lasting impression on him.  He saw first-hand what happens to totalitarian government leaders after those institutions fail.  He suppressed information revealing that the West was not actively involved in the Prague Spring.  Regardless of whether he truly believed in the conspiracy theory or simply wanted to manipulate the Politburo, the end result was the same.

There is no doubt that Andropov would not have allowed the Soviet Union to fall.  He would have been happy to bring out machine guns and tanks and slaughter large numbers of people to maintain power.  If he had lived just ten years more, it is entirely possible he would have passed power to that other famous KGB operative, the current Russian president, leaving the Soviet Union intact.

Back to Korea.  The evil Kim family would have continued its grip on the throats of Koreans for decades more, except for the brave actions of Colonel Kim Yu-shin and the many officers who decided to put an end to the deprivation once and for all.  But their lives were not the only ones being risked.

A great American, Rodney Dangerfield, often joked that he lived in a neighborhood which was so tough that after tackling a player in a football game, the other team went after his family.  The same thing would have been true for the families of "The One Hundred" if the coup had been foiled.  Hitler ordered the members of the 1944 plot against him killed and used guillotines to kill the members of the White Rose Society in 1943, but he left their families alone.  For the Korean officers, their spouses, children, parents, and siblings would have been painfully executed, along with their distant cousins.  The Kim family would have ensured that their family tree was eradicated down to the roots.

We had problems with some South Koreans wanting to close the border to their Northern cousins.  They were a mix of people who want nothing to interfere with their hedonistic lifestyle and people who must worship at the First National Church of Goldman Sachs, similar to the USA's corporate crowd and groupies thereof.  These people seriously asked us to close the borders, by force if necessary, to keep the unwashed Northern masses out of their consumerist paradise.  We explained to them that they had two choices.  First, they could raise their own taxes so that Northerners would be able to stay in their homes without starving.  Or second, they could watch as millions of starving Koreans crossed the border to satisfy basic needs.  Were these people honestly proposing that we employ machine guns at the border?

When we were crafting the reunification treaty, we took the opportunity to fix a few problems with current law.

One category involves animal cruelty.  It is common to eat dog meat in China and it was common in Korea.  Was.  It is common to eat dolphin and whale meat in Japan.  Japan kills some 20,000 dolphins and 1000 whales each year, calling it "scientific research."  It is more like research into the culinary tastes of Japanese businessmen.  We banned the sale of dog, dolphin, and whale meat in Korea.  We banned whaling and intentional killing of dolphins.  We even tightened the fishing laws so fishermen must try their very best to not catch dolphins accidentally.

In addition, we banned the cruel religious slaughter of animals, called dhabihah for Muslims and shechita for Jews.  Both of these practices involve cutting the throat of fully conscious animals and allowing them to bleed to death, accompanied by the chanting of some religious mumbo-jumbo.  Civilized societies have come to the learned conclusion that animals must first be stunned with a bolt-gun or a similar device.  Also, the meat of animals killed by religious nuts in other countries is no longer allowed to be imported.

The next category involves the evil Internet search company.  We banned their video-car from the entire peninsula.  The company would have earned millions of dollars from people wanting to vicariously visit the North, but never offered to share any of it with Koreans. We also banned their cyborg eye wear to prevent them from videotaping activities which others believe are private matters.

We invited the Dalai Lama and the Pope to visit Pyongyang because for the past seventy years or so, religion has been banned often under punishment of death.  We wanted all Koreans to know that religion is now up to them.  That said, religion has no place in government.  America first saw how religion kills with the slaughter of the Pequots by the supposedly peaceful Pilgrims shortly after their arrival in the New World.

Scientology was banned outright because it is not a religion.  It is a predatory, totalitarian cult which employs a surfeit of shysters to suffocate opponents with legal motions.  It is an immortal manifestation of Ron Hubbard's roach motel concept: members check in, but they are never allowed to check out.

We also banned the polygamous branches of Mormonism, especially the FLDS.

Islam is an all-encompassing political ideology, not a religion.  The burka and face veil have been banned in public, as these costumes are used by men trying to control their woman and by men dressed as woman to gain access to secure areas to commit violent acts.  And all people are free to change their religious status as often as they wish, to become atheists, Muslims, Christians, Jews, or any other religion regardless of the person's previous religion.

In the case of someone throwing acid, lye, or another corrosive on another person, we set the penalty at 20 years in prison with no possibility of parole.  You throw, you serve.

We also copied some of Germany's laws which transferred some wealth of the Western half to the newly-freed half.  We created a Minister of Reunification who will ensure that Northerners are not forgotten, educationally or infrastructure-wise.  A direct report of the Minister of Reunification is the Vice-Minister of Refugees and Orphans who will ensure that the large number of homeless people have a home.  These people will work together to ensure that Northerners are educated in the ways of the West, not the least of which includes how not to be conned by carpetbaggers, snake oil salesmen, grifters, and other capitalist parasites who are drawn to the aftermath of a disaster like flies to manure.

That said, the entire Korean Peninsula is now open for business.

I am ready to take your questions now.

* * * * *

Han-na Song-Talvela and the twins were sitting directly behind Talvela.

"Can we get some ice cream now?" asked Kan-na breathlessly.

"I want chocolate chip!" declared Tan-na.

Song-Talvela laughed quietly.  "No, we must wait until Christian is finished with his testimony.  We will get ice cream in an hour or two."

Without turning around, he extended his hand back to where the three were sitting.  In his hand were two foot-ends from a pair of nylon stockings.

Both girls tittered.