The Russian President's last day in office is a sardonic, sometimes bawdy take on Vladimir Putin's adventures in Ukraine. Byez Rubashka translates to "without shirt," paying homage to Putin's practice of posing for photos without wearing a shirt. The president's floozie is modeled after Putin's rhythmic gymnastics girlfriend, Alina Kabayeva, with Gimnastka translating to "gymnast." Putin really does have a $1+ billion palace on the Black Sea. Boobs-R-Us refers to Femen, the feminist organization famous for displaying breasts as a political protest, with "boobs" having two meanings. The juxtaposition of Rubashka and Boobs-R-Us removing their shirts is intentional. Femen is originally from Ukraine, but is now based in Paris. Ubistvo Lyubovnik translates to "murder lover." Ciao Kakao is Russian, rhyming slang comparable to a 1950's song, "See you later, alligator," and cannot be taken literally. Kakao is the Russian word for "cocoa," referring to the chocolate factory Ukraine President Petro Poroshenko owns. Labia Likov's last name is pronounced "lick-off." Onher Chappedbutt was the best I could do with the name of Anna Chapman, the Russian spy and outstanding sex partner who was deported in 2010. Sneg translates to "snow" (then add "den"). All other names can be researched via an English dictionary.
Currently there are more than 800,000 Russians from Ukraine who have moved to cities in Russia because their house or neighborhood was bombed. It is unknown if they will return, especially given the animosity which has developed between Ukrainians and Russian separatists. And the separatists who have stayed are ridiculing, beating, kidnapping, and imprisoning people with different points of view, as was true in the Soviet Union they idolize. Whether volunteer mercenaries or Russian regulars, troops with modern weaponry arrive via Russia on a regular basis. Some separatists fear that that the Ukrainian army will impress them into service, just as Bolsheviks did during the Russian Revolution, but as usual, the separatists have it backwards. Russian soldiers are being sent to Ukraine to fight, and if they are captured, Russia disavows all knowledge of their orders and declares them to be traitors, similar to what happened after the end of WWII when recently released Russian POWs were sent to the gulag after arrival back home for allegedly consorting with the enemy.
The murder of 333 children, parents, and teachers at Beslan was Russia's 9/11, just like the downing of MH17 was the Netherlands' 9/11, with separatists not concerned that their side was responsible for the murder of 298 children, women, and men. And just like George W. Bush who attempted to derail the 9/11 Commission because he knew it would accentuate his incompetence, Putin never supported an honest investigation of Beslan. The mistakes made in Beslan ten years ago are many: ignoring warnings, allowing the savages to bribe their way through checkpoints, possibly allowing the pre-positioning of weapons in the school building, never securing the scene to prevent amateurs from triggering a bloodbath (there are photos on the Internet), and the lack of a coherent plan. To this day it is unclear exactly what happened. Another national screw-up was the Moscow Nord-Ost siege where many hostages died because Moscow planners failed to account for the highly toxic gas used to incapacitate the savages, with many hostages drowning in their vomit because no one was told to simply turn them onto their stomachs to allow them to vomit the poison out. For further insights into the people of the Caucasus, search for "kavkaz" (or "Кавказ") on YouTube to find lots of videos of dancing at weddings, but also some videos (here's one) of wolves, pretty local women, and minarets interspersed with drawings of assault rifles and other military weapons. Not surprisingly, the Islamic State has now declared the Islamic countries of the Caucasus, Chechnya, Ingushetia, and Dagestan, to be the location of their next Islamic war.
The West must draw a line and not one of Barack Obama's amateur-hour red-lines. If Putin wants a proxy war, then we must give him one. Supply Ukraine with missile-firing drones, M270 MLRS, M142 HIMARS, and other relevant weapon systems, and train Ukrainians how to use them effectively. We can bleed Russia dry by trading drone missiles for battle tanks and armored vehicles, not to mention eliminating the many Grad, Buk, and other rocket/missile systems. And we'd better have a plan ready in case Putin's green men appear in Estonia and Latvia.
Finland is persuaded to join NATO is my daydream of what a competent politician could do vis-à-vis Vladimir Putin's hints at annexing the portions of Eastern European countries with large Russian populations. This story is a fictionalized version of The guerrilla solution to Vladimir Putin's threats to invade Finland if it joins NATO and Barack Obama's potential JFK moment, although Obama actually appears to be a deer frozen in the international headlights. The story starts with a mention of the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact of 1939 which divided Eastern Europe between two ruthless dictators, Hitler and Stalin, and installed Trojan Horses in Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania in the form of large numbers of ethnic Russians. Russian soldiers keep getting lost in Ukraine, so it's likely Putin has ideas about Finland too. Herbert Hoover was given the credit he deserves for his many humanitarian missions around the world, starting during WWI and continuing past WWII.
Press conference regarding the Malvinas reconquest by Argentina is a possible outcome of an obvious gap in the UK's defense strategy. For a number of years, Britain will not have any carriers capable of carrying fixed-wing aircraft and will only have one helicopter carrier starting at the end of 2014. The window of opportunity will only last until the first of the new carriers is ready in 2017-18. Argentina would never get another chance like this. The time frame of the press conference is February 2015. I got the idea for this story from the online comments of Brits who believe their country is the British Empire of old, even though Britain today is the land where Muslim men groom, rape, and share Sikh and other non-Muslim girls as young as 11 and police treat the victims as "stupid, naughty" girls. The UK is the origin for a large number of ISIS killers. And Birmingham is ground-zero for the Islamist Trojan Horse plot to surreptitiously convert public schools into madrasas.
The demise and resurrection of North Korea is my hopeful vision of an implosion of North Korea. Originally it was the main narrative of a larger story called The war of immiscible ideas which was presented in multiple chapters (TWOII was deleted). Looking back with 20/20 hindsight, it is obvious that TWOII was a terrible name, though not nearly as bad as Saucy Mugwump. I updated the narrative to reflect current events, added a character or two, and improved the writing. It all started with a BBC News story on South Korean women becoming military officers after the sinking of the Cheonan and other provocations by North Korea. The concept of historical fiction came from B.R. Myers' book, The Cleanest Race, which noted that North Korea publishes sycophantic historical fiction regarding the life of Kim Il-sung, though I took it in a decidedly different direction. I continued my research in Could an implosion of North Korea result in WWIII? which speculated on the events which would follow a collapse of the DPRK.
Originally, Bling Ka-ching was meant to be a rip-off of Jang Song-thaek, Kim Jong-un's uncle, but I made him a minor character, the mayor of Pyongyang, after he was executed. Jang's real-life wife was Kim Kyong-hui who became Kim Alco-hol in the story. She is reputed to be an alcoholic and in poor health. Yoo Tok-ki (whose name was created using the Korean word for rabbit) was the woman seen in a surreptitiously filmed North Korean video, with her frail body just about to give out. The scenes involving orphans originated from stories in Radio Free Asia, the Telegraph, and PBS Frontline. I obtained a point of view of China from a dissident, Bao Tong, via his Under House Arrest column. Christian Talvela is, of course, my Jack Ryan, albeit with absolutely no explanation of his background. This story just might be the longest blog post on the Internet.
The take-down of the labor camps was intentionally sparse because, for me, the immediate aftermath is the most interesting portion. Also, I do not believe I could do justice to the dynamics of a raid along the lines of the one at Son Tay. That said, it is fairly well accepted that prisoners in the labor camps would be executed during an implosion. A UN report stated that guards "received orders to kill all prisoners in case of an armed conflict or revolution so as to destroy the primary evidence of the camps' existence." The report "also explained that specific plans exist on how to implement the order and that drills were held on how to kill large numbers of prisoners in a short period of time." Kim Il-sung was the creator of that strategy, as well as for Songbun, the DPRK's caste system, and the scheme where one's relatives suffer the same punishment as the accused.
From a project management point of view, the removal of Kim is critically essential. He would need to be killed or at the very least, arrested and jailed, but Kim Jong-un has personal bodyguards in the Guard Command. Soldiers from the 43rd Infantry Brigade recently fired on a vehicle carrying soldiers from the Guard Command, killing one of them. As RFA noted, Kim "came unglued" and replaced the entire leadership of the Brigade. It is likely that the Guards are pampered and therefore loyal to Kim, in contrast to the Brigade which is a special forces unit. To eliminate Kim, one would need to penetrate the Guards. Given the problems with the Brigade -- "Gunfights within the army show how lack of discipline has become a serious problem," said a source -- perhaps there is great resentment within the regular army for the special treatment of the Guard. Or perhaps this was merely an incident of soldiers choosing to shoot rather than risk subsequent dereliction of duty charges if the vehicle had contained a lesser class of North Korean, similar to what happened in 2008 to when a South Korean female tourist walked over a forbidden line at the Mount Kumgang tourist resort.
China would not readily relinquish control of North Korea. As I first mentioned in North Korea is China's useful idiot, China uses North Korea as a buffer zone against the West. North Korea's rare earths deposits are essential to keeping China's industry humming. China has done whatever it took to maintain the status quo in the DPRK, including deporting North Korean refugees back to almost certain death, as my posts In memory of nine North Korean orphans and China is murdering North Korean refugees noted. And both China and Russia covet North Korea's ice-free port of Rajin. A likely scenario, in a Chinese remake of Sherman's March to the Sea, is that Chinese armored forces blaze a trail east, with the people trapped north of Chinese forces possibly doomed to die of starvation while the armies danced. U.S. and ROK forces intervening to prevent mass starvation could easily trigger a five-way war, including Russia trying to safeguard its railway to Rajin, given that China would not negotiate any line of demarcation and would demand that interlopers leave immediately.
The Japanese Prime Minister's last day in office is a possible outcome of the current Japanese government's dalliances with organized crime (the yakuza) in the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant clean-up, Japan's head-in-the-sand attitude with respect to its actions in WWII, and Japan's conflict with China over the Senkaku / Diaoyu Islands. Japanese Prime Minister, Abe Shinzo, has proven to be agenda-driven. His constant visits to the Yasukuni Shrine where Class A war criminals are enshrined play well to his base, but they are alienating his neighbors, especially South Korea with respect to the "comfort women." He is starting to work with India's navy and is giving Vietnam six used ships, but one would think he would realize that Japan would need friends in the neighborhood if a war with China were to occur.
The National Archives' Nazi War Crimes and Japanese Imperial Government Records Interagency Working Group understands better than anyone that the atrocities of the Nazis and 1934-45 Japan are comparable. The West knows of "The Angel of Death," Josef Mengele, but is not generally aware that worse crimes occurred in Imperial Japan under Ishii Shiro. Japanese apologists refer to Ishii's Unit 731 by its original, innocuous name, the Epidemic Prevention and Water Purification Department of the Kwantung Army. General Douglas MacArthur allowed many of the monsters from Unit 731 to go free to allow their "research" to be used in the U.S. and Britain's Cold War fight against communism -- their vivisections on conscious patients without anesthesia were truly world-class atrocities -- though MacArthur's decisions were approved at the very top levels of government. Prime Minister Abe Shinzo and his fellow fascists often visit the Yasukuni Shrine where many of the monsters, including 14 Class A war criminals, are enshrined, yet Emperor Akihito has never visited it.
The National Archives offers two starting points for those who wish to research Japan's wartime atrocities, Researching Japanese War Crimes: Introductory Essays and Select Documents on Japanese War Crimes and Japanese Bological Warfare 1934-2006. The authors noted that much of the material has never been used in published books, even thought the list of horrors is long and appalling. One wonders if that is because the subject matter does not lend itself to being read by an audience which idolizes celebrity airheads or whether there are politically-correct considerations at play here. Japanese apologists who often claim that the dropping of two atomic bombs was unnecessary because Japan was ready and willing to surrender should read the timeline of the first half of 1945: "The sharp increase in Japanese attacks using free balloons was seen initially as a potential [biological warfare] weapon threatening crops, if not people." The reason why Unit 731 is not well-known today can be expressed in a sentence from the timeline of the second half of 1946: "Secretary of War and Joint Research & Development Board recommended that all information about the biological warfare program be held at the TOP SECRET level." Apologists should also note that 70% of relevant documents were destroyed by Japanese authorities, unlike in Germany where most were retrieved.
The U.S. versus the accelerated dragon requires some knowledge of chess history on the part of the reader to be fully appreciated. All character names were taken from famous chess players and the "accelerated dragon" from the title is a playing strategy. The insects mentioned in the story actually exist and appear to be cousins of bed bugs. Demand CS will kill them, but applying it properly and safely is crucial.
Bao Tong's commentaries, 'Mao And Deng Were The Same, And We Should Ditch Them' and Deng Xiaoping 'Opened The Floodgates' For Corruption, explained how China migrated from crazed communists to corrupt capitalists. Another RFA editorial, The Only Thing Left For China Now is Revolution, by Wei Jingsheng, someone who served 18 years in Chinese prisons for "counterrevolutionary" activities, noted that China is essentially controlled by "26 hereditary family groups," in other words, China is no different than other oligarchies. Last but not least is 'Everyone is Responsible For This Evil' which pointed out the evils of Mao's Red Guards who were instrumental in the millions murdered in the Cultural Revolution. The photo on this last commentary is worth a thousand words, as it depicts a Chinese bride and groom dressed as Red Guards, suggesting that Red Guards are to China what Elvis is to the U.S.
The British Prime Minister's last day in office is fairly long and meanders through many current events and potential outcomes thereof. It was triggered by comments from some of the survivors of the Utøya Island massacre in 2011 that they were planning to increase immigration for and give special rights to Muslims, heedless of what is happening in Britain with respect to local jihadists, in protest against the mass murder of the right-wing, neo-Nazi fruitcake, Anders Behring Breivik (Beavis, from Beavis and Butthead, in the story). The names of the prime minister and other politicians were satirically designed, with the names of the two journalists borrowed from British and American literature. Sweden, where headscarf fiction becomes reality was a follow-up post. I would not write it again in its present form as it deals with too many issues. Many people misunderstood my main point that throwing the baby out with the bathwater is not a recommended practice.
Religious sex dolls is a one-off, disparaging religions and pretentious celebrities via bawdy humor. It's more of an extended dirty joke. Only people who pay attention to the American national soap opera will fully appreciate the humor.