Friday, October 29, 2010

FICTION: Fox News America's Newsroom with Martha MacCallum for July 27, 2012

MARTHA MACCALLUM: Welcome to America's Newsroom for Friday, July 27, 2012.

Our top story is the arrest of Muhammad Sheepster. He was caught with a plastic bag full of bed bugs in a New York furniture store, inserting them into the crevices of love seats. It is unknown if he is also responsible for the bed bugs found in the Empire State building, the UN Building, Lincoln Center, Carnegie Hall, movie theaters, and stores like Abercrombie & Fitch, Bloomingdales, Victoria's Secret, and Nike's 5th Avenue flagship store. Police searched the apartment he shares with three other Muslim men and found quantities of bed bugs. Police are searching for his three roommates. We'll stay on top of this breaking news.

Next, we have an interview with Alan Tonelson of the U.S. Business & Industrial Council on the subject of free trade treaties.

Mr. Tonelson, don't you agree that the passage of free trade treaties with South Korea, Columbia, and Panama have created many new jobs?

ALAN TONELSON: No, I do not agree at all. You are living in the past, when Cincinnati Milacron was the world leader in machine tools, GM was the world's largest automotive manufacturer, and Nike actually made clothing in the USA. Today, three of the top five exports of the USA are 1) oilseeds and grains, 2) waste and scrap, and 3) resins, synthetic rubber, and fibers. These are low-tech products resulting in comparatively few jobs. The #4 category is aircraft and parts, but that will cease to be a factor after 2016 when China starts selling its single-aisle C919 airliner with up to 190 seats.

The other top-five export category is semiconductors and electronic components. Just about the only reason this remains the case is that Intel and other chip manufacturers realized that if they outsourced production to China, the Chinese would quickly steal their trade secrets and start producing clone chips of their own.

The treaty with South Korea has one benefit given its violent neighbor to the north, but that's about it.

MARTHA MACCALLUM: But what about the benefit to Columbia and Panama? Ordinary people in those countries will be able to sell their wares to the USA and thereby reduce the poverty in those countries, right?

ALAN TONELSON: That's not how it works. Multinational corporations use these treaties to import goods into the USA without tariffs. Just like Walmart and Apple do in China, these corporations create large factories where workers are essentially treated as slaves. The only people who benefit from these treaties are the corporate officers and shareholders of multinational corporations.

MARTHA MACCALLUM: Okay, that's all the time we have. Thanks, Mr. Tonelson.

Changing gears, now. Okay, guys, you've asked for this many times. We've sent Megyn Kelly to a lingerie store for a story on how the economy is affecting the lingerie business. Enjoy!

MEGYN KELLY: First, we'll interview a woman dressed in crotchless panties and push-up bra trying to re-kindle her husband's interest in her. We'll only show her from the side for obvious reasons.

VIDEO: Scene of a woman dressed in lingerie walking toward her husband.

WIFE: Want some of this, honey?

HUSBAND: Hell no, look what it's done to your underwear!

MEGYN KELLY: Now I'll show you my personal choice for lingerie to wear at home.

VIDEO: Scene showing Megyn Kelly in revealing lingerie.

MAN: Do you smoke after sex?

MEGYN KELLY: I've never really looked to see.

MAN: Maybe you should keep a glass of water on your nightstand just in case.

MEGYN KELLY: I think I understand now why little boys always want to be firemen.

MAN: My hose is available to put out your fire.

MEGYN KELLY: Just so you know, I'm not interested in a backdraft.

MAN: Okay, then let me manipulate your Jaws of Life.

MEGYN KELLY: I have made many visits to my electrologist, so you won't find a brush fire.

MAN: And don't worry, I do not have a Mini Pumper.

MARTHA MACCALLUM: Looks like his sprinkler might be activated soon! Thanks to Megyn for that.

On this day of the start of the London 2012 Summer Olympics, we finally learned why the two top female Taekwondo athletes departed from the UK two days ago. If you remember, they were sisters from South Korea, Han-na and Jan-na Lee. Everyone was waiting for the gold medal match when they fought each other. But first, I need to remind you of some recent events in Britain.

Back in January, UK Prime Minister David Cameron appointed Anjem Choudary as Home Secretary. If you remember, he was primarily known for his Islamist organization, Islam4UK, which was dedicated to converting the UK into an Islamic state. One of Choudary's first acts was to require that all accusations of rape be handled in Islamic sharia courts because the majority of alleged rapes were being committed by Muslim men. As soon as that was implemented, women accusing Muslim men of rape were arrested for hate crimes. This resulted in a number of follow-on events.

I think we have a graphic of what the Koran says on the subject of women testifying against men.

GRAPHIC: Get two witnesses, out of your own men, and if there are not two men, then a man and two women, such as ye choose, for witnesses, so that if one of them errs, the other can remind her. (Koran 2:282)

MARTHA MACCALLUM: So in other words, in sharia courts, women testifying against men is a non-starter. There would have to be multiple women and men necessary to convict a Muslim man, and in the case of the average rape, that is simply not possible.

Starting in the early 1990s, we saw Russian marriage agencies that catered to Western men, as Russian women were now free to leave the country. The ads for these women sometimes featured them in bikinis to show off their bodies. After Choudary's expansion of sharia courts, there was an explosion of UK marriage agencies for British women wanting to leave the UK. The ads for British women noted their favorite authors and poets, the university they graduated from, and the musical instruments they played. Boy, I'll bet the Tea Party bimbos do not appreciate that kind of competition!

Many British women have already moved to Australia, Canada, the USA, France, and Germany. Choudary announced that he would compensate for the loss of British women by importing Muslim women from Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, and North Africa.

Then, of course, we had the incident with the Australian women. To remind you, a few Australian women were in London on vacation when they were attacked by a gang of Muslim men. The women fought back with broken beer bottles and seriously injured some of the men. The British government arrested the women for hate crimes. The government showed a video of the attack, but curiously the video only started with the women's response to the men's attack. The government declared that the first part of the video had been lost. Considering that there is a video camera on almost every street corner in the UK, many people found the video loss difficult to believe.

Then a French tourist stepped forward with a home video of the entire incident, which clearly showed the initial attack by the men. The response in Australia was swift. Prime Minister Julia Gillard had already expressed a desire to convert the country from a constitutional monarchy to a republic, leaving the Queen and her entourage behind. Australia's House of Representatives and Senate voted unanimously in agreement with her.

Back to the two South Korean sisters: we have learned that four Muslim men attacked them two days ago. However, these women were not going along with it. We are still trying to obtain the video, but it appears that the women violently defended themselves; beside many broken ribs, noses, and jaws, the men suffered lacerated kidneys, crushed testicles, and even broken legs. The four men were found unconscious on a London street. The two women left the country two days before the Olympics were scheduled to begin to avoid prosecution for hate crimes.

Man, I wish I could have seen that!

We are not sure if it has any connection, but on the same day -- two days ago -- three women dressed in niqabs were acting suspiciously on and near the Docklands Light Railway, taking photos and leaving packages on the train cars. The Docklands Light Railway is an integral part of the transportation system for the Olympics. The three women were arrested. Later it was discovered that the three women were some of the wives of Saudi Arabia Prince Faisal GoatFuquer. Because of the international implications, British police have been ordered not to bother any more people walking around in niqabs or burqas.

I'm being told by my producer that we have breaking news out of London. Steve Harrigan, where exactly are you?

STEVE HARRIGAN: I'm outside Olympic Stadium where the Opening Ceremonies are being held.

We have been told by a few sources that a number of hospitals in the London area have been attacked. It appears that men dressed in niqabs entered the hospitals carrying automatic weapons under their robes. They were not stopped and/or searched because of the incident on the Docklands Light Railway. We are being told that the attacks are similar to the 2008 Mumbai attacks where many people were slaughtered. The attackers raked waiting rooms and emergency rooms with automatic weapons fire and grenades. A lot of specialized equipment in emergency rooms has been destroyed. A hospital specializing in severe burns was set alight with petrol bombs and is now fully engulfed in flames.

We have also been told . . . what the heck? There aren't supposed to be any planes flying in this area now. I count one, two . . . no, four planes flying towards . . . Olympic Stadium.

OFFSCREEN MAN: Those are tanker aircraft! Are they on station because of a forest fire in the area?

STEVE HARRIGAN: Tanker aircraft carry water . . . or any liquid . . . even gasoline . . . I have a bad feeling about this. Olympic Stadium has 80,000 seats, all filled for the opening ceremony.

VIDEO: Scene of four planes converging on Olympic Stadium from the four points of the compass.

STEVE HARRIGAN: Did you hear that? Look at that fireball! Four different fireballs! They flew right into the seats!

VIDEO: Scene of Olympic Stadium with four major fires.

STEVE HARRIGAN: Martha, we are seeing many, many people running away from the stadium, in all directions. We might be run over in a stampede.

OFFSCREEN MAN: That was a bomb! There's another!

STEVE HARRIGAN: Those aren't bombs; those are mortars! I know what they sound like from Afghanistan. They're raining down all around the stadium.

VIDEO: Scene of images crazily shifting from ground to sky to ground because the camera is flying through the air.

Scene showing image from camera landing on the ground next to someone whose face has been blown off.

Scene of a mob of people running in panic toward the camera. As feet appear in the foreground, the image goes black.

MARTHA MACCALLUM: Steve? Steve? Steve?

OFFSCREEN VOICE: Go to commercial, Martha.

MARTHA MACCALLUM: We'll be . . . right back.

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