KYRA PHILLIPS: Good morning. I'd like to begin today's show by telling you of a major science breakthrough and some changes to our overnight schedule. Scientists have finally cloned a human being after years of trying. CNN was in on the process since the very beginning. CNN senior management asked the scientists if they could create a human who would be immediately useful. The scientists agreed to our request. So from now on starting at 5 PM Eastern Time, CNN will feature two hours of Wolf Blitzer followed by John King, Parker Spitzer, Larry King, and Anderson Cooper, which will be followed by our Wolf Blitzer clone presenting a live, all-night Situation Room. We thought about modernizing the show by allowing our Wolf clone to present the news in his jammies like Hugh Hefner, but we thought people might have a problem with a Wolf in sleep's clothing.
Next, we will have a discussion with Thomas Friedman and Christine O'Donnell. Thomas Friedman is a New York Times columnist and the author of many books, including Hot, Flat, and Crowded. Christine O'Donnell is the Republican candidate for one of the Delaware Senate seats.
CHRISTINE O'DONNELL: Wait a minute, did you say his book was titled Not Flaccid and Powdered? Is that a masturbation joke? And why are all of the jokes about men? Why not My Muff's Wet and Vibrating?
KYRA PHILLIPS: Hot, Flat, and Crowded. Hot, Flat, and Crowded.
Tom, in your books The Lexus and the Olive Tree, The World Is Flat, and Hot, Flat, and Crowded, you argued that globalization is a wonderful thing for America. How can you possibly believe that when the unemployment rate is 9.6%, the trade deficit with China reaches a new record each month, and jobs are ever increasingly being outsourced to India and China? Linda McQuaig, Canadian author of All You Can Eat, wrote that you and Dinesh D'Souza are apologists of globalization.
THOMAS FRIEDMAN: That's idiotic. Let me tell you about the CEO of Walmart who I had lunch with in Davos. We had lobster, French wine, the most exquisite snails ever . . . none of the crap that Walmart sells in their stores.
KYRA PHILLIPS: Moving right along.
You wrote "It is pure idiocy that Congress will not open our borders -- as wide as possible -- to attract and keep the world's first-round intellectual draft choices in an age when everyone increasingly has the same innovation tools and the key differentiator is human talent."
How can you believe this? It is true that there are talented people all over the world who can create new industries, but then those people all create factories in other countries, leaving the USA with only a handful of new workers to answer the phone. Removing all barriers to immigration only helps multinational corporations like Microsoft and politicians receiving bribes, aka campaign contributions, from them.
THOMAS FRIEDMAN: That's idiotic. Let me tell you about the CEO of Microsoft, Steve Ballmer. He and my good friend Bill Gates attended Congressional hearings where they testified that we need to eliminate the H-1B and L-1 visa caps so we can bring millions of Indian, Pakistani, Chinese, and other foreign workers into the country. The three of us had lunch at the . . .
KYRA PHILLIPS: No, not lunch again!
Many software engineers in this country have been laid-off and their jobs outsourced; these are jobs near the top of the food chain. Even radiologists have been outsourced; a local radiological technician takes the x-ray and stores it on a server where a radiologist in India reads it and posts his report on the same server. Where are the new jobs going to come from to employ Americans?
THOMAS FRIEDMAN: That's idiotic. Let me tell you about the CEO of Wipro Technologies, the company responsible for thousands and thousands of jobs being transferred from Americans to Indians, both here and in India. We had lunch . . .
KYRA PHILLIPS: Maybe you spend too much time talking to CEOs to understand what is going on in the real world. Grow a brain!
THOMAS FRIEDMAN: That's idiotic. Let me tell you . . . How did you know I had brains for lunch yesterday?
KYRA PHILLIPS: I read fortunes as a hobby.
Christine, you said last week that "God helps those who help themselves," saying that the phrase is included in the Bible. Right?
CHRISTINE O'DONNELL: Yes, that's true. I read it in my Bible that I keep in my bathroom in case I get the urge to masturbate.
KYRA PHILLIPS: I did a few searches in online Bibles and found nothing. Then I googled around and learned that Ben Franklin included it in his Poor Richard's Almanac. How can you say that you read the phrase in the Bible when it does not exist there?
CHRISTINE O'DONNELL:
KYRA PHILLIPS: Christine?
CHRISTINE O'DONNELL: I'm not a witch.
KYRA PHILLIPS: Speaking of witchcraft, you said in a political debate with your Democratic opponent, Chris Coons, that remarks you made about witchcraft, sexual abstinence. and evolution were not relevant to the Senate race. How can you say that past behavior is not relevant to character when Republicans impeached Bill Clinton partly for having the morals of a sewer rat?
CHRISTINE O'DONNELL: Would you like me to tell you of some Supreme Court decisions that I memorized just for today? The most important one was Dred Scott . . . or was it dreadlocks?
KYRA PHILLIPS: Okay, that's all the time we have. Thanks to you both.
On a completely different subject, former President Bill Clinton has traveled to Cuba trying to convince the current leader, Raul Castro, to renounce communism and restart relations between our countries. Here's the video.
VIDEO: Scene of the Oval Office with Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton. Monica appears to be removing something from under her dress.
MONICA LEWINSKY: Hey Bill, I bought some new cigars today. These are much thinner than the Cubans. They don't fill me up as much.
VIDEO: Monica Lewinsky giggles and hands a cigar to Bill Clinton. He inserts one end into his mouth.
BILL CLINTON: Hmm, tastes great.
MONICA LEWINSKY: Less filling.
BILL CLINTON: Tastes great!
MONICA LEWINSKY: Less filling!
BILL CLINTON: TASTES GREAT!
MONICA LEWINSKY: LESS FILLING!
KYRA PHILLIPS: Oops, wrong Clinton cigar video. We'll show you that video later.
In other news, in San Diego, a Muslim woman dressed in a blue burqa was standing next to Shamu's tank when one of the killer whales rose up and knocked her into the tank. The whales tossed her into the air and batted her about until trainers could distract them. Police speculated that because the whales could not see that it was a human in the burqa, they thought it was a large, blue, beach toy. The investigation continues.
We'll be right back.
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